Today, as I was waiting in line at the check out, some guy came up behind me, plucked a hair out of my head, and ran off with it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a woman was standing in front of me in line. There was a strand of hair on her back, so to be nice, I pulled it off her. It was still attached to her head. FML
Today, the checkout guy at my local store asked me if I had my hair cut. I answered and started talking about my hair, and he gave me a really weird look. He was talking to his friend, who I hadn't noticed in the queue behind me. FML
Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML
Today, I spotted a guy I like slyly checking me out, so I did what I thought would be a dramatic but nonchalant hair flip. Instead, my hair got caught in the strap of my bag, and I ended up yanking myself backwards like a clumsy stuntman. FML
Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML
Today, my dad came up behind me with a pair of scissors, and pretended to snip away at my hair. I was sure he was joking, so I just sat there and didn't react. Later, I felt the back of my head and looked at my hand. Suffice it to say, I now have a large bald patch on the back of my head. FML
Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML
Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML
Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML
Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DeuceDeuce 16
Polyjuice potion?
baxeh 29
Ever seen someone so attractive you just had to try to clone them?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (87)
millagramssxe 24
creeper
haliacc 17
Be warned of another one of you that may be roaming the streets soon!
DeuceDeuce 16
Polyjuice potion?
Renecameron9274 5
Hahha I understand
Tyler1299 10
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought of that lol
ELoni_fml 25
I smell voodoo..
SnowKitten 14
Maybe collecting evidence for something?
aleeya 15
There was a CSI like that.. or was it a Criminal Minds... The suspect was using hair from people to make a wig for the victim. Or maybe someone is going to use it for a Voodoo Spell... Or to frame you at a crime. So, if all the sudden you start getting very bad cramps where you double over... or if law enforcement contacts you and wants to know you whereabouts... Have no fear, now it has been posted someone stole your hair! #FML is now your alibi!
soulreaper12296 28
Damn, you beat me to it lol!
tooyoungtooold 11
You beat me to it xD
Standupmast3r 18
I literally thought that and went topic it in the comments. Well played my good sir!
Ltsdragons 19
#63 ma'am*
angelinthestars 1
Yasssssssss!!!!!
baxeh 29
Ever seen someone so attractive you just had to try to clone them?
JocelynKaulitz 28
So he can have one all to himself ;)
KK3137 31
But the process of growing one.. Takes so long, better to just abduct her
imura 8
#15 I prefer the term. suprise adoption
lord_meloetta 20
I am legit afraid of you guys right now
cinskeep43 15
yes #3 I have.. . and her FML username is jocylenkaulitz
bearstyle22 11
Lets just take it as a compliment and a funny story to tell for later haha could of been way worse
boxers4lyfe 17
Is it really identity theft if it's a clone?
DArthurVaderian 18
Sharing is caring
ALTERNATEone 4
Probably just going to clone you and have your clone commit all kinds of crimes. Make sure you have good alibis for a while.
Stryker_13 19
Maybe he's a weirdo stalker and has a shrine to you in his closet and your hair is one of the finishing touches to it...
Ki11erC 18
Voodoo doll in the making.
FateH 1
He do voodoo?
MaybeMoo 13
Stay away from da voodoo mon.
edward80 18
Relax, maybe he only wants to clone you
Sunflower1919 19
Or maybe he thinks he's OPs real father and wants a paternity test
JayGatsby 25
#23, I can only imagine how that would go if he passed the paternity test. "Hi, remember me? I'm that guy who plucked a hair from you at the checkout stand. Nevermind how I followed you here, but guess what? I'm your real father!!!"
coming back in the future 30
I think he was checking you out. (It's meant to be horrible)