Today, I had a dream about toasting with champagne. Whilst asleep, I extended my hand to toast, then brought my hand to my mouth to "drink the bubbly." I knocked over the glass of water I keep on my bedside table. My iPhone is now ruined, and in shock of my wet arm, I jerked backward headbutting my wife's face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML
Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML
Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, in order to have a nice relaxing bubble bath, I lit candles, played soothing music, and poured myself a glass of wine. Just as I was about to get in, I slipped on a patch of wet floor, dumped the wine on myself, and fell backward into the tub… that didn't have any water in it. Now I’m soaked in wine and bruised. FML
Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my phone ringing. As I groggily reached for it I managed to knock my fan onto my head, leaving a grate-shaped bruise. The best part? My phone wasn't ringing, I dreamed myself awake. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I dreamed that I got so nervous during a toast at my friend's wedding that I pissed myself. To coax myself to wake up, I took off my dress, stripped down to my underwear, and pinched myself. I wasn't dreaming. FML
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Top comments
tygerarmy 35
Sucks, next time don't leave your phone by liquids, or get an awesome case like I have. How'd your wife react?
XxXPeace2thelose 0
well that's sucks =P
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Comments (161)
honeybunches34 0
omg I'm soo sry my phone is my lifeline I would like die without it!!!
generalcheif123 0
that sux
robinbhsl 0
totally agree with you, especially when it's an iPhone
Nylecroc 0
Dude you just snookied your wife
rohosoccer08 1
my husband knocked a coke over on the window sill while he was asleep and kinda messed up the speaker of his iPhone, he was pissed!
YouSeriouslySuck 0
ydi for keeping a glass of water by ur bed
honeybunches34 0
lol I love jershey shore
eaglesfan365 0
i the holocaust
Littlemuffinbox 6
LOL. The iPhone thing kinda gets posted a lot, but I like the headbut thing.
StoryOfTheYear 15
if get over it :| and Boom! Headshot
rohosoccer08 1
haha you like that he headbutted his wife... I'd be pissed if I was her
seanreddog 4
Sucks for you but at least you got away from this with your life! That's something, right?
MrSassypants 34
next time toast wine it would be safe. I don't know why but it would be
kidsanchez1 4
I wonder how the wife must feel and hope you got insurane fir your iPod or atleast got money to fix it
StoryOfTheYear 15
I would*
Ninja666_fml 0
35- champagne is better than wine
sharpl916 0
i wonder if it's impossible to make a water proof phones?
rohosoccer08 1
41... someone should definately invent one 40... neither champagne or wine is good
kidsanchez1 4
it's funny how you could have a dream and hurt your loved one I also guess you won't be able to sleep with your wife for a long time
epoh_fml 0
I sleep with my iPhone next to me. it's my alarm clock :)
rohosoccer08 1
me too hope
sourgirl101 29
Me too. I only hate that my iPhone doesn't have a music ring tone like my other phone did so I wake up grouchy :( and I also keep water next to my bed but it's bottled with a lid.
FML_Leet 0
same iPhone=Life
epoh_fml 0
same here, sourgirl. I used to keep cups of water next to me, but my cats kept trying to drink out of them and would spill them. I started using water bottles :)
pwnage7 0
ydi for being french
sourgirl101 29
Epoh now that's funny because my cats are also the reason I use bottle water. Btw I hope you're careful with the kitty litter. I heard it's not safe to change when you're pregnant.
seanreddog 4
We used to have a cat like that but we ended up getting rid of her. :(
kellyrenee 0
I completely agree! OP- You TOTALLY deserve it. If you need water in the middle of the night, get your lazy ass up out of bed and get some. Or don't leave your iPhone next to a glass of water. Use your brain next time, please.
BeatNik169 3
You should really keep a water bottle with a cap. it's saved me a ton of trouble. ;)
epoh_fml 0
no it's not safe. if the mother gets toxoplasmosis from exposure to cat feces, the baby could have serious birth defects. on the other hand, there is some proof that women who were raised with cats (and shared the chore of changing litter) have probably already been exposed and developed antibodies and resistance to toxoplasmosis. the more you know but I digress! my kitty lives with my dad because her sister is there, and I'm not allowed animals at my apartment :(
MrFancy 0
Sorry, but ydi for not taking preventative measures. I NEVER use/put my iPhone near liquids, because it's that important.
kellyrenee 0
sourgirl- you can have a music ringtone. You just have to know the right program to use to cut the song down and to convert the file to the correct format.
sourgirl101 29
Thanks Kelly. I'm going to look into it. I uses to wake up to Good Charlotte now I wake up to (buzz buzz buzz)
WyKeD 0
I fix iPhones!!!! bet you're too far though ...
pleasenopuffin 0
that's why I drink Capri Sun at night, at least if I knock it over it won't spill, just slowly leak.
sourgirl101 29
Wy please don't take this the wrong way but your picture (the one with blood shot eyes) looks like this guy that tried to sell me a blunt last night. Do you fix phones AND sell weed at the same time?:)
Lorysa 11
Come on, give him a break. If he has just one night stand and needs to accept calls in case they're important, he might have needed his phone next to him as he slept. And sometimes, in the middle of the night, you just need a quick sip of water to go back to bed if you wake up. Getting up and walking to the kitchen completely disrupts sleep and it can be really hard to go back to bed, it has nothing to do with laziness. FYL, OP! But next time, remember to use a water bottle instead.
rallets 23
what a wet dream lol
rawrcupcakesz 0
Yay you posted just for me Kevin lol. I feel sorry for OP's wife.
tyty123_fml 0
aha thts funny lol
teacher411 0
#36 there is no insurance for iPhones :( OP, I sleep w/ a water bottle by my bed instead of a glass for this very reason! Sorry to hear...
rallets 23
lol yea :D most i can come up with on such short notice lol
SHORTstopp99 5
at least you didn't drop your just one on the pavement and instantly on the there is cracks all over it. It looks like it got ran over by a bus
bms1996 12
they have them in japan.google Japanese phones and under the images it has one of their waterproof phones
Silver996 2
I hope you lose your phone.
mikuxxhatsune 32
#42 Waterproof phones have already been invented and some time ago. I had a Sony which was submeragble for 1m in water, there were little caps over the charging hole and headphones hole. I never tried it but it seems to work.
authorkid 2
idiot...
jessxoxo28 5
^ agreed lol
DontGuessMyName 5
That doesn't make any sense. When one is in a dream they have a lacking of reasoning skills no matter who you are. There isn't really much he could have done about it.
NeatNit 33
It's not about being in a dream. Who the **** puts a glass of water next to a phone? it's dumb. It's his fault for putting it there, not for knocking it over.
XxXPeace2thelose 0
well that's sucks =P
ihateuall 0
awww, too bad
imaginaryvoice 18
what was your wifes face doing under you? lol
ImaginaryFoe 1
I do this kind of thing in my dreams all the time. I'm sure your wife will understand. Warranty/ insurance on the phone?
roxiluvsu69 0
no way
imlagginglol 0
insurance on the iPhone covers hardly anything
ImaginaryFoe 1
Well that sucks. FYL, OP! Things aren't as up as I thought. Your wife is probably pissed and starting divorce proceedings on grounds of abuse.
blue_eyes4602 0
that really sucks. I'd be pissed if I was your wife. For anyone who has an iPhone, you can buy insurance through Best Buy. it covers everything. it's 15$ a month but it's so worth it.
Dillnation 3
which in 2 years is more expensive then just buying a newer, upgraded iPhone.... best buy insurance is a rip off
jgilez 0
so you got to "inadvertantly" hit your wire in the face and you only sacrificed an iPhone? I'd rather spend the night in jail.
j17avil 0
Best Buy says that they cover everything but when you go in later on to claim whatever happened, they make some shit up and say they don't actually cover it. at least that's what happened to me with my guitar for Guitar Hero
ALEX808 0
That sux dude!
jordan75_fml 0
to bad so sad
tygerarmy 35
Sucks, next time don't leave your phone by liquids, or get an awesome case like I have. How'd your wife react?
mattman1994 0
she didn't. she was probably unconscious. lol
dramaababyy 0
44 you have pretty eyes
Day_Dreams 0
Ya I'm too scared to leave my phone or my iPod near liquides. Because I don't want them messed up if it spills
BREADEDELF 3
Do you know how pathetic it would be if you somehow hooked up and had to explain to people that you met in the FML comments.
dramaababyy 0
never said I was tryin to friggin hook up. just stated a fact.
dramaababyy 0
oh and do you know how pathetic it looks when trying to start something with a random person on fml?
crazyeddie21 0
Omg not the iPhone!!!!