Today, I had a dream about toasting with champagne. Whilst asleep, I extended my hand to toast, then brought my hand to my mouth to "drink the bubbly." I knocked over the glass of water I keep on my bedside table. My iPhone is now ruined, and in shock of my wet arm, I jerked backward headbutting my wife's face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML
Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML
Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, in order to have a nice relaxing bubble bath, I lit candles, played soothing music, and poured myself a glass of wine. Just as I was about to get in, I slipped on a patch of wet floor, dumped the wine on myself, and fell backward into the tub… that didn't have any water in it. Now I’m soaked in wine and bruised. FML
Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my phone ringing. As I groggily reached for it I managed to knock my fan onto my head, leaving a grate-shaped bruise. The best part? My phone wasn't ringing, I dreamed myself awake. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I dreamed that I got so nervous during a toast at my friend's wedding that I pissed myself. To coax myself to wake up, I took off my dress, stripped down to my underwear, and pinched myself. I wasn't dreaming. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tygerarmy 35
Sucks, next time don't leave your phone by liquids, or get an awesome case like I have. How'd your wife react?
XxXPeace2thelose 0
well that's sucks =P
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (161)
The_Disturbed 5
YDI. Completely. I don't keep drinks within 3 feet of my bed in case I knock them over in my sleep, and much less on the same platform as something electronic, be it portable or socket-powered. Either way it could be a costly accident. If anything this is a FYWife'sL situation for getting headbutted in the face. Rude awakening, much?
eytanrodin 0
Sounds like you should keep a capped bottle of water next to the bed instead of a glass. Maybe you shouldn't keep your iPhone or any other electronic device within range of liquids. My seven year old has understood this concept for some time now. Get an Otterbox Defender for your new iPhone. It isn't waterproof but it will resist liquids better than most cases and it handles falls much better. You seem like the kind of guy who drops his phone frequently.
Jasper8713 2
I call fake. Most dreams occur during REM sleep. During REM sleep, something known as REM atonia occurs, which is essentially when the motor neurons in the brain are not stimulated. This leads to paralysis. If you ARE acting out your dreams, then you most likely have a REM Behaviour Disorder, which should be assessed. There have been cases of this so severe that people have killed their partners while acting out dreams.
goliatron 9
YDI for having an iPhone.
szlafarski 0
dad?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
That sucks but why would you put a glass of water on your bedside table with your iPhone there? And you seem to be pretty aware of what was happening for being asleep and dreaming, yet you said while you were asleep you did this. I don't know but I say YDI just because you put the iPhone next to water.
annabell123 0
aww!!!poor iPhone !!!
danielhartlesss 13
you should have paid the $80 for the protection plan on your iPhone. It's pretty expensive but I know if my iPhone breaks I get it replaced free!
kc15 0
smooth move dip shit!:) hahaha. that sucks dickkk!!!
lolatlifehahaha 0
well, you shouldn't have placed a glass of water next to your iphone... you could: 1) keep a water bottle by your bed instead, as i do 2) place your iphone within a plastic container of some sort