Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML
Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML
Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML
Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Afterwards, my parents thought it would be a great idea to have my favourite meal. I got to watch them enjoy it. FML
Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML
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Top comments
crazytwinsmom 25
Ex girlfriend I hope!
speckledots 29
Damn. BTW. You aren't supposed to "suck" on anything. Unless you want a dry socket.
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Comments (113)
devilz_advocate 7
You're a man... You had teeth pulled... Grow some balls and get over it...
CharresBarkrey 16
Depending on OP's situation, they could have been surgically removed. That's a serious procedure, and not something you just "get over." Come back after you have something forcibly yanked out of one of your bones without complaining.
Divine_Mamma 11
It's his wisdom teeth. It's not the same as any other tooth.
noncom 12
Yeah but maybe he should get flavored tampons. I'm sure they have those.
aliciaanomalyyxo 12
Wooooowwwww break up with that bitch
Likian5 26
Um...bipolar much?
doglover100 29
Your ex girlfriend hopefully.
Covy 3
That's my kinda girl...srs
Maria_Obligacia 14
What a rude girl. Unless you omitted a large chunk of the conversation leading up to that (where you kept being whiney and aggressive and she started out polite and but things escalated) I'd say stop talking to her. If that is really how the conversation went, it is not a 'small thing' as some people here put it - it is unacceptably uncivil.
burningpassion69 6
Get rid of the bitch
dodzin 9
Dump the shit and flash all the memories down.
Marcelb 17
65 - LOL. You sir, have serious issues.