Today, I got my son's phone bill (the phone I got him to call us from college). I found out he's been calling a phone sex hotline everyday. He hasn't called us once. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML
Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML
LEAVE ME ALONE
Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating, even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML
Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML
Dad of the month
Today, I found out that my "Dad", the man who couldn't afford to buy me a bed, despite sleeping on the floor for 3+ years, has spent well over $3000 on sex chat lines, as well as cheating us out of child payments. He doesn't understand why I refuse to talk to him. FML
Bigmouth Strikes Again
Today, I was involved in an intense argument with my dad. Just as I yelled, "You haven't done one thing for me", my phone rang. The same phone that, as of today, my dad no longer pays the bill for. FML
Love knows no boundaries
Today, I found out my son's girlfriend is actually a webcam porn star he pays for private sessions. He’s somehow convinced himself they have a real relationship, and is spending thousands of pounds every week, on his credit card I may add. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend had his phone taken away by his dad for this past week. I have been sending him naked photos and other naughty things this entire week, or so I thought. FML
Blame game
Today, my dad tried to blame me for ringing an out of network number for two hours, which charged his bill by the minute. I rang the number, which turned out to belong to one of his business pals who lives abroad. He punished me anyway for having an attitude when I proved the call was his fault. FML
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
Top comments
ishama13 0
You can call him?
Melanef 3
Sorry, OP, but you deserve it for giving him a phone and paying his bills. If he doesn't know the value of the money, make him work to worth it.
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Comments (133)
hassenpfeffermmm 0
parenting fail!
UndeadBiatch 0
I Dont Know Weather To Laugh Or To Sigh At This Big Ass Fail .
mscrazeee123 0
hahahahahaha... well, you deserved it
riotinsideme 0
Give him a hard spank.
Joeboy777 0
Penis
imaniiboo 0
haha! I have to agree with you! @3
jociecat 0
he should be paying for his own crap. make him get a job.
jayAZ 3
could 28 get any hotter? damn, she has some funny posts at times...however is there a brain on top of that trillion dollar sculpture?
a_borshunist 0
Wow, parenting fail. If he's old enough to be in university (or "college", lol Americans can't speak English), he's old enough to pay his phone bill. Do you pay his tuition too? What a fail. He should've been saving up the money during his high school years... and don't give me that "concentrating on his studies" bullshit, high school is a joke anyways, he could've worked a 30-hour week, skipped half his classes to sell drugs, and still winded up with an 85 average. If he is in college instead of university, that's even more pathetic, considering how one goes to college for job training and university for an education he should know how to hustle by now. Also, phone sex hotline? How archaic. You should tell him about this thing called the internet where he can get all the **** he wants for free, or better yet, tell him about this thing called social skills which will get him laid with an actual human being.
heresy_smb 0
#113 u sound so pathetic that i have a feeling u havent been laid for a loooooong time :D hm, and ur deep knowledge of internet use only proves it lol
Cinn_fml 23
@a_borshunist - Get over yourself. Words have different meanings in different places. I don't know where you're from, but as you're complaining about the use of the word college, I'd guess UK, in which case, I reckon I'd talk a lot different to you even though we're from the same place. I apologise if the assumption about where you live is incorrect. Also, skipping secondary school classes to sell drugs is just stupid. Also, college can be to do alevels as well as vocational courses. Also, some people aren't in the best places to get jobs, I live literally in the middle of nowhere, before I was seventeen I had no practical method of transport that would get me anywhere with enough time to make it worth my while, so a job was out of the question as my parents would be too busy to give me lifts there and back. As a student my parents are pretty much paying for all my university education - the government won't help - but they don't mind because they know I'll be responsible with the money they give me. It is not necessarily a parenting fail to want your kids to do well by funding their education, this is a case of child fail where he doesn't understand the value of all his parents do for him. /rant.
a_borshunist 0
Dude, move to a society that values education and intellect and tell their university students they go to a college. They'll throw a brick through your window and shit in your bed while you sleep, I guarantee it. They'll be rightfully offended -- I would. I didn't bust my ass saving up tuition money and writing essays to be confused with some burnt-out 35-year-old human resources drone looking for a promotion or some naive kid who knows how to cook a few dishes and therefore thinks kitchen work is a viable long-term career plan. Colleges and universities are completely different things: different programs, different classes, different objectives, different learning styles, different community, etc. You don't see much overlap, except in a few programs like Social Work where the practical job-focused learning of college is combined with the theoretical, intellectual-development-focused learning of university. Also, skipping class to sell drugs *is* a good idea. These are high school classes -- the things they teach you could be covered in a few days by anyone with half a brain. Just pull a few essays out of your ass and do some joke of a multiple-choice exam where they practically give you the answers right before it starts and you'll get your six 12U credits. I think I actually studied properly for maybe 2 courses throughout all of high school, and only because the teacher completely disregarded the curriculum and actually challenged her students. After grade 10 I barely even showed up to class, and I still graduated with an 84 average. I won the history award, even though I came to maybe 2 classes a week. And even then I barely even followed the curriculum; I just monopolized the class discussion with whatever my pet cause was at the time and the teacher was more than willing to let me because she was so refreshed to see someone who wasn't retarded open their mouth to speak. I wrote half my essays stoned and even then they were masterpieces compared to the shit the other students churned out. So don't tell me high school is difficult or that it takes study skills, all you need to excel is a functioning brain (and I use that term very loosely -- the bar keeps sinking lower.) And STFU about jobs. Move elsewhere. There's no excuse for living in a shithole backwater for half your life. Have a ******* contingency plan. Always. Never depend entirely on any one source of income -- always have a backup plan. Always have supplementary income and transferable skills. Network. Negotiate. Hustle. Money doesn't come to you -- you go to money. I could've easily stayed in retail and restaurants wasting away for 20 hours a week and $8/hour but I did the intelligent thing and landed some lifeguard gigs in the private sector, made some investments and ripped open any loopholes in OSAP that I could to cover my tuition costs. If I didn't like my working conditions, I negotiated for better. When I worked in the public sector I actually went to the union meetings instead of bitching needlessly about the low pay and power-tripping bureaucrats.
Cinn_fml 23
I am in a society that values education. Why do you think I think that you shouldn't skip classes to sell drugs? I'd rather go to the classes and keep my attendance up so that the teachers don't all hate me to give me leniancy for missing classes (for good reasons) when I got into the sixth form (or as you know it, college) because they knew I was a damn good student and trustworthy. Also, awards at my secondary school, meant very little (I know because I won one, which is exactly why I think they're worth so little). At sixth form they meant a little more. And where did you study to do multiple choice exams? I didn't have any multiple choice exams until I did General Studies Alevel, and that was by force because the 'Arts' students needed help with science. Shame they didn't bother to help us scientists with the rest of that. Also, those 'masterpiece' of essays were just comparitive? Sure you weren't just put in with those who struggled with those subjects? I can't write essays for squat, doesn't make me stupid. I call my place of study a University, that's what I've grown up being taught what it was. However in America they talk different. The way the North of England can talk different to the South. It doesn't matter, one word cannot determine your level of intelligence. Also, when I did my Alevels, I studied, in my way, in a similar way to how I now study at University, yes, it's laid out differently, my hours, content, difficulty, strictness is all different. But its still studying. A lot of people called it college, and it was academic. Not so different. Also, in america don't you have different schooling split? Like elementary, middle and high rather than primary, secondary and college? Also, when I said some people live in places where getting a job would be difficult, I was reffering to part time jobs you get before you go to university to help pay for your university. You want people to start moving home when they're thirteen? I don't think so. Yes, for an actual job, that's full time and will support you completely for life - then yes you move to where there is a job. There is a difference. And don't give me that lecture about 'transferrable skills' and 'networking' I've had that being drummed into my head since the lowest years of secondary. Surprisingly people get them naturally...unless they're cocky little things that expect the world to do as they say and that they don't have to work.
Ultimate_Cynic 0
Damn, OP; you need to either cut the kid's phone off or get him a hooker.