Today, I got my son's phone bill (the phone I got him to call us from college). I found out he's been calling a phone sex hotline everyday. He hasn't called us once. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML
Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML
LEAVE ME ALONE
Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating, even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML
Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML
Dad of the month
Today, I found out that my "Dad", the man who couldn't afford to buy me a bed, despite sleeping on the floor for 3+ years, has spent well over $3000 on sex chat lines, as well as cheating us out of child payments. He doesn't understand why I refuse to talk to him. FML
Bigmouth Strikes Again
Today, I was involved in an intense argument with my dad. Just as I yelled, "You haven't done one thing for me", my phone rang. The same phone that, as of today, my dad no longer pays the bill for. FML
Love knows no boundaries
Today, I found out my son's girlfriend is actually a webcam porn star he pays for private sessions. He’s somehow convinced himself they have a real relationship, and is spending thousands of pounds every week, on his credit card I may add. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend had his phone taken away by his dad for this past week. I have been sending him naked photos and other naughty things this entire week, or so I thought. FML
Blame game
Today, my dad tried to blame me for ringing an out of network number for two hours, which charged his bill by the minute. I rang the number, which turned out to belong to one of his business pals who lives abroad. He punished me anyway for having an attitude when I proved the call was his fault. FML
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
Top comments
ishama13 0
You can call him?
Melanef 3
Sorry, OP, but you deserve it for giving him a phone and paying his bills. If he doesn't know the value of the money, make him work to worth it.
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Comments (133)
seanreddog 4
lol
breakingakajav 0
at least it wasn't a gay sex hotline right? RIGHT?
blankaex 0
Worst first comment ever. Period.
seanreddog 4
Worst fourth comment ever. Period.
BurpusMe 0
OP didn't say it wasn't a gay sexline.
jonagoo 8
worst tenth comment ever period
BABiiRAWr 0
the fmls are getting lame
thatsoviciouS 0
Hahaha I would never have gave that to him in the first place, let him support himself. In all words, YDI.
leighxxx998 0
YDI and I totally agree 19
tristan1001 0
there's a few good fmls every once in a while
suckTHIS 0
would you rather him jacking odd to you? common that's nasty, a boys gotta do what a boys gotta do ...I men man ;)
spidergirl41 0
andd? your point to this fml?? what, you expect him to ********** to the sound of his parents? I think not.
elmo6 0
wow..
cyberotter 0
yes they do.... yes they do. thanks for your profile pic on that note
UrDunSon 0
YDI for raising a son that can't get women
NzxtZ06 0
he'll probably be jerking off to your pic 28, as well as alot of other guys, and maybe girls on here
vivalacobraxo 0
majority of kids don't want to talk to there parents and call them all the time there's a differnce between missing them and then like calling all the time. college is when your on your own and most people take advantage of that freedom.
ReyEr9412 0
This FML is so retro. Getting a phone when you're 18 to call your parents at college.
u_killed_kenny_ 0
he should drink V8's more often
FyourLIFEdotCOM8 0
make him get his own phone to call the phone sex lines. not that hard.
luis420 0
25=win
kemolegend907 0
damn girl how ******* old r u
bbuba 0
ydi for being on fml while being old and having a son in college and now you know he isn't having sex
benjie16 0
haha whoa calm down how do you know about this
pjfromok 0
A real man gets pussy, he doesn't have to listen to some hefer trying to sound sexy. He is a pitiful boy, YDI parents.
bluesclues72 0
#28 that picture is fake. someone else has the same pic as u on here. if u type in hot girl on google u can find it.
nxthendrix123 0
but there son is
ishama13 0
You can call him?
letmeinplease 0
Yeah. My parents got a very cheap pay as you go phone when I went to uni. They called me when they wanted to, and for calls I wanted to make, including to them, I topped up the credit. OP, FYL for having such a ungrateful on, but YDI for giving him the means. You need to keep your end up in the contact game. My sister and my mum always complain to me that the other doesn't call. Someone's got to start the process.
PhillyFox 0
OP didn't once say that they never called. They only said that their son never called them.
sharpl916 0
relationship between my old man and me got awkward after few months of not calling each other. When we did we just had awkward clunky robot like conversations with nothing coming out of mind. You can talk more freely when meeting face to face, which I do now.
iamchuck 0
It's too hard to jackoff while talking to you parents.
diamondbessie 0
how do u know cochino!
massagenist 0
haha did you know those lines are staffed by 300 + pound girls. saw it on maury povich.
the_pan1c 5
fake and gay, just sayin
NeroKR13 0
wow lol xD
perdix 31
Tell him you will help him ********** on the phone, save money on the phone sex and bring your family closer together. Win-win-win! I with I could capture my genius in a bottle and sell it/
perdix 31
It should have been "wish" and and exclamation point, not a slash. I know snickerdoodles is banned from commenting, but her ghost haunts me.
repyourcliche 0
she's banned?
racerapj 10
Oh RLY¿ but seriously, she's Banned. I thought she got sick of it, ran a rebellion and started a grammar Nazi political party. seriously 2.0 she's banned?
x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0
Wow! I thought she just got tired of being a grammar Nazi. When was she banned?
goldenone 2
I love perdix
Cinn_fml 23
@TheCib - Snickerdoodles was FML's resident Grammar Nazi for a while, I'm not sure how long, I arrived way into her reign. You really want to know what she was like - read the comment threads for FMLs from last year, you're bound to find some of her epic comments and arguments.
FYLDeep 26
Last year? All you need to do is go back about a month. Somewhere around there you'll see a bunch of comments like, "Hey, what happened to your shirt Snicks?"
Cinn_fml 23
That is true, but I couldn't remember when abouts this year she left us. So just saying FMLs from (any point in) 2009 seemed the safer option.
Vehicle 1
Why do they get to snoop and see who their son calls?
TheKitsune 0
Because they're paying the bill genius. If he was acting like an adult and not a child and paying his own bills THEN they would have no right to see what THEIR money is paying for.
Melanef 3
Sorry, OP, but you deserve it for giving him a phone and paying his bills. If he doesn't know the value of the money, make him work to worth it.
BurpusMe 0
At least you know what to give him for his next birthday!
karina_said 0
(-;
truededication 0
Karina I want to be your slave
Doopliss01 0
YDI for not being here and making me a sandwhich