Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML
Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML
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Top comments
DivakiddOsz 5
ohh ;) Spanish food is the best .
hidingout777 0
Just walk away like nothing happened...
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Comments (230)
jmk1469 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
sucks. eat out next time?
melchibr_fml 0
I'm pretty sure the family chose to eat at the house. it would be ruse to decline the offer, or leave because they are having beans.
sandi315 0
wish he could... wish he could
mycookiezz 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Her??? I don't see how that will help... oohh ok, yea good suggestion, lol
jacob4848 4
You better fix it you don't want to be nick named "The clogger".
littlemissFYL 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
better then them having no toilet paper and you using their bathroom... :P
daisyloo 7
I agree with 13. There's not much he could've done about that. Hope you feel better OP!:)
DeepDownThere 3
Usually when you meet your partners parents for the first time you eat at their place, not at a restaurant.
DeepDownThere 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Oh and 26 who are you talking to? I see you replied to #1 but appear to be talking to OP. Maybe you should try replying to the FML if you are going to direct your comment to OP. And I'm calling -12 thumbs on this.
aFatFuck 0
Gotta use your hands man, drastic times call for..using your hand to unclog diareah filled toilets
SomeFMLPerson 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
*Insert "That's a shitty situation/That stinks" here*
dolphincheddar 10
umm, get a plunger?
dolphincheddar 10
1. filatio wouldn't solve the clogging problem. not for the toilet anyways
ImmortalKratos 0
get a wire coat hanger. straighten it. and stick it in the toilet till it goes down. usually works for me.
Jakaroo 0
ummm......use your hands??
theaws0m3guy 4
Hahaha this is one of my favorite fmls haha
ifailplzinsultme 0
I'm sure he will be "eating out" later...
2ndSucks 15
92- not if he's still all backed up.
gottaluvisabella 0
so op's first instinct is to go on fml and post while hes in the bathroom cuz thatll get cha no where
FYLinAmajorWay 1
I guarantee you'll laugh your ass off when you picture OP in his girlfriend's parent's bathroom, both hands in the toilet, with a panicked look on his face. At least i did. Lol sorry OP FYL
fckdupzf 0
u r in a shitty situation:P
schmelia 10
104 - just because all FMLs have to start with 'today' doesn't mean they actually happened today. Nor does writing in present tense mean it's actually happening right now. Most FMLs are submitted after the situation has passed.
justanothagirl 0
shit happens
shutup_matt 5
sounds like a "crappy" evening
ifailplzinsultme 0
That's true 95
knightsfb 0
use your sock and fish it out
knocking 0
You do realize every FML has to start with "today", right? I doubt most FMLs that get posted even happened that exact day.
cimh 9
gross...but I guess that's the only way! (hope I'll never be in this situation!)
lpca28472 0
danm gurl u game on COD hit me up if u want you want to game with me
ScaughtieHolden 11
I'm disappointed that no one has said, "use your hand" yet.
lovejdbieber 0
183 awkward for u cause like 50 people have
lbumbblebee 5
haha damn that sucks op, don't forget to wash your hands... a lot xD
DivakiddOsz 5
ohh ;) Spanish food is the best .
Iamnotmyself 17
But was it worth it?
DivakiddOsz 5
haha definitely . your stomach gotta get used to it. it's never too late to try arroz con menestra y chorizooo xD
wordnerd42 0
It's always worth it! Sure, we all wish we had an iron rectum afterwards, but there are ways to cope. Have no shame, OP, it signifies a job well done by the cook.
tona01 16
yeah its the same with mexican food( i don't mean that weird shit they sell as mexican food up there in the USA), because our food has so many spices, people not used to it, get an upset stomach. Whenever people get it, mexicans say they got moctezuma's revenge
chili10 18
I'm sorry, but i gotta cast my vote for Italian food.
wordnerd42 0
Italian food is amazing! I love it! I love food.. all of it.. I'm a fatty..
cimh 9
yepp Italian food! and Thai food - but there is the same problem with spices you are not used to LOL
RaineLee 5
I love Italian food too!
cheezbrgrsrcool 1
ohh that's good
MrOcean 0
climb out the window?
TeeHee124 0
This made me **** so hard.
LexxyLiime 0
OP was trying not to be rude and ate their disgusting food, do you really think that he would climb out the window? that would be 1000 times ruder.
wordnerd42 0
Nobody said the food itself was disgusting.. just its effect on an unaccustomed body!
JesusFishTaco 5
This is starting to sound like Along Came Polly.
Saltime 0
No. JUMP out the window. ...Like a boss.
kings1fan 6
And Dumb and Dumber
hidingout777 0
Just walk away like nothing happened...
DivakiddOsz 5
LOL imagine !! "quien fue el asqueroso que dejo el baño asi?"
LunaNstars 0
be smooth like that ;)
SOlarPanel348 0
sounds like a 'shitty' situation
Sweet_Testicles 7
Tell them :D
BeatlesObsessed 12
Those darn Mexican foods my mother makes too.
juanaranda1015 4
I hope you know Mexicans aren't the only hispanic people who eat beans and chorizo. Think before you post an obnoxious comment.
BeatlesObsessed 12
I hope you know I was just being silly. You shouldn't take it so seriously, especially not on this website.
moto51 0
agreed ^
senalina 0
i love chorrizo and friholas.... mmmmmmmmm
sseberly 11
I feel like I know you from somewhere beatlesobsessed lol
BeatlesObsessed 12
One night stand. Your name's Bob, right? I'm kidding! Message me. :)
DESTROYER8590 0
lol, I wish my mom cooked good food like that.
partyfool2011 4
127-frijoles
kings1fan 6
How do you message someone on this app??
wowyouareweird 0
I eat beans and chorizo and Im puerto rican soo it's not just Mexicans who eat that . think before you comment .
melchibr_fml 0
wow that's embarrassing. It reminds me of the movie "Dumb and Dumber" when Harry breaks the toilet lol
socksonparade9 0
bahahahaha! xD
Pinkmorgan9 0
Dumb And Dumber is the beat :D
sourgirl101 29
The last concert I went to had two guys dressed up as Lloyd and Harry in those blue and orange tuxedos. Super funny!(:
Pinkmorgan9 0
Excuse me, I meant best. Sorry autocorrect
FMMFL1992 3
OH MY GOD THERE'S SHIT EVERYWHERE!!!!!
FMMFL1992 3
oh I quoted dumb and dumberer my bad
MrSousa10 8
kick ass movie
jusmedrea 0
lol or along came polly when he uses the luffa
RainbowzSkittlez 6
Lol use your hands.
greg84_fml 21
omg, I was going to say that!
Babalu722 3
yeah.. he should get the hell off of FML and solve this predicament
Mi24hind 0
I don't want to know how your trying to unclog their toilet. But atleast you where doing your best to not be rude, so they'll respect that.
KaptainKronicX 5
This reminds me of a certain movie, anyone?
IamMiguelco 0
along came Polly