Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating, even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML
Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the other end had porn on high volume and put the phone next to the speaker. Way to remind me that I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I got my son's phone bill (the phone I got him to call us from college). I found out he's been calling a phone sex hotline everyday. He hasn't called us once. FML
Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML
Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML
Today, I needed to call my mom to get some info so I dialled the number on my work phone. Not 2 seconds after, my cellphone rang. I got super pissed off because I hate when people call me on my cell at work. It was me. I'd dialled my own number. FML
Today, I realised that somewhere out there someone has written my phone number on a pub bathroom wall, because now every couple of days or weeks I get random calls from heavy breathing pervs, or from guys wanting to know if I’m available, and how much I charge. FML
Today, my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it. A few hours later the same boss called me into his office to fire me. Apparently the company checks the phone records and found a call made on my cell to a sex line. My boss made that call and just fired me. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, I noticed that I get more calls from people who've dialed the wrong number than I do from people I actually know. FML
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Top comments
mandark 9
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em?
eddeeezzyy 19
You should've just went with it and played along! Omg do you have any idea how much fun that would be? Lol you could make up insanely high prices, and listen to their reactions.
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Comments (106)
mandark 9
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em?
Nutz101 7
I would act really sexy and then when they finish say in a deep voice, " I'm a man."
Nutz101 7
I would act really sexy then when they finish I'd say in a deep voice, "I'm a man."
scarllet13101 5
That's ******* brilliant
Nutz101 7
25 - I know I thought it would hilarious.
zandalee 20
Get their credit card number before you do anything. Talk dirty for a while....
perdix 31
Or join 'em at beating 'em?
zandalee 20
Black leather, whips, chains, handcuffs... And that's just for me.... Wait. Sorry. I got carried away.
Forlorn420 9
This is a stroke or two of bad luck OP. Im sorry for your loss of your innocence of your ears
SerendipityRose 26
You should answer the phone in an old lady voice... Saying things like, "What was that, Deary?" & "It's so lovely to hear from you kids."
chokefrantic 9
1- if you can't beat em, it's ok cause they're doing it anyway.
mariah_victoria 0
58- lol you said stroke...[x
Forlorn420 9
^ that was the joke lol
newbiehere99 6
I just got this lol
AssassinsCRB 0
A guy with the youtube name "OwnagePranks" does this, it's pretty epic lol
Fatalally 4
Like a sombooooooodeee
TheRealStunts 27
If you can't beat em, beat yours instead
skyttlz 32
I'm sorry OP
Nutz101 7
I hate when people comment saying I'm sorry op.
mango260 9
I hate when people comment what they hate about a comment :)
Nutz101 7
Oh well then I'll stop.
FMLshark 12
Jeez, 2, did you have to keep calling OP? They told you it was a wrong number. Get some other phone sex hotline. I'm sure they accept your apology, though.
zinoxity 23
I hate it when people are hypocrites.
Forlorn420 9
2- I read your comment while eating skittles. I thought you should know
videokid2000 10
And I hate when people comment about hating a comment about hating a comment.
mango260 9
84- yay finally someone caught on :D
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
I hate it when I'm playing Call of Duty, and the exact moment I go to scratch my nose, an enemy player pops up.. -_- Huh? Oh yeah, the FML. So I have to think of something witty and hilarious right? Because that's apparently very important here. So here it goes! ....
koolkool994 28
Hate comment-ception...
eddeeezzyy 19
You should've just went with it and played along! Omg do you have any idea how much fun that would be? Lol you could make up insanely high prices, and listen to their reactions.
rcgirl2 11
Op should've said," Hello. This is *Op's name*. I wanna tickle your pickle for a nickle. ;)" I would love to see what the callers would say.
the_anti_hipster 7
OP should RUN with this. Breathe heavily into the phone and snort. Play Miley Cyrus in the background. Yell at Jesus and start speaking in tongues. The possibilities are endless!
Bekll 31
I think Nyan cat in the background would be better.
rcgirl2 11
24- Yeah because yelling at jesus while having an ****** is soooo sexy. -_-
the_anti_hipster 7
28--that's the point >.<
DoubleCross 9
Just go with it and have really shitty high prices :)
TarieBoo 2
Would you like to pay with cash or credit? Haha
owo_fml 9
OP only accepts cash. Throw the money through the phone!
kayleebearr 6
At least you'll always be getting phone calls in case you're lonely
thebassplayer88 2
You is fine as wine
SkoomaKi 28
^ That was shit as shit. You see friend this ain't a dating site. So leave her alone you parasite. There's no one here to back you up man, I'm guessing your smooth move didn't go to plan?
Fml_FTW228 10
You is creepy as... Well, you're just ******* creepy.
alycion 39
Get square. Ask for cc numbers. Then charge them. ;)
Alphakhiash 13
Keep their numbers, post publicly "for a good time".
funnytruth 0
***takes of glasses*** Moter of GOD
funnytruth 0
Mother of god
Nutz101 7
Thats what I did.
TheElderTROLLZ 15
How do you "take of" glasses?
flockz 20
well you pinch the visual enhancers through your thumb and forefinger and gently lift the frame away from the crook of your nose and place said enhancers on any surface that is not your face.
spazz666 18
... I believe 39 was pointing out that "off" should have been used and not "of"
TheDrudgeChild 4
68 - 45's response was a sarcastic joke.
thebassplayer88 2
Just mess with them and put it on youtube and make tons of money
nevermoremarni 3
This is great xD