Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
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Top comments
shadowgamer_x 0
What a hairy situation. At least this wasn't in pubelic!
Althenias 0
try shaving, problem solved
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Comments (287)
kikirara_fml 0
hand job? dude how old are u?! that was like sex in the 8th grade.
gogirls 3
did u get an abortion on ur hand?!
FlyingLazerWALRU 0
I lol'd.
perfictlife14 0
Haha shave dumbass next time that won't happen
Flakitaflaka03 4
How about you shave?
kay729 7
That was very nice of you, not only did you save her embarrassment you probably gave her confidence in the hand job department
lobum 12
That's what you deserve for not manscaping! Come on, it's 2011, for ****'s sake.
hanzyb 0
Another fake FML
xxskittlezxx1 0
ouch enough said
dopefreshh19 3
Lmao maybe you should shave from now on...
UnluckyDude96 8
Ow what bloody pain in the crotch!