Today, I got more pleasure from itching the bed bug bites from sleeping over at my boyfriend's house than I got from actually sleeping with him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML
Today, after finally going to therapy for anxiety like everyone wanted, I discovered the itching feeling that kept me awake at night was actually caused by a bedbug infestation. FML
Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML
Today, I finally got to see my girlfriend's mouth open with pleasure… while she was scratching a bug bite. FML
Today, I get more pleasure out of scratching my balls than I do out of any sexual activity with my girlfriend. FML
Today, it was my first time sleeping at my boyfriend’s house. I happened to have an incredibly realistic nightmare in which I woke up to thousands of centipedes crawling all over my body. My boyfriend got to watch me scream and slap myself repeatedly. FML
Today, after three visits from exterminators and another from a steam cleaner, I still have bedbugs. FML
Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML
Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML
Today, I found out that the little red dots all over my body aren't some horrible disease like I originally thought. They're bedbug bites. I've managed to not notice a huge infestation for 5 months. FML
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Top comments
Kalipczo 21
erm, if hes actually got bed bugs, you should really have him take care of that...unless you want to bring them home with you :S jussayin. they're tough little bastards.
DaMann360 19
Well that's just...sad
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Comments (49)
averagepaguy 4
Throw you cloths away... One of this buggers could of hitched a roe home with you.
redneck_wolf 19
I guess you're just itching for an ******...
masonkenny3541 4
I have had bedbugs and they really suck. Make sure to treat everything when you get home, and throw your close in a black trash bag and bring them to a laundry place away from your house.
CuriousYel1ow 13
Where exactly did they bite you?
danilynn6308 14
Ew nasty bed bugs..
sweetnsourrr 11
These fmls are kind of getting old and hard to feel sorry for you. In order to have great sex you need yo communicate with your partner otherwise you're just going to keep having bad sex because he's not going to know what you want. He can't read your mind, YDI for not communicating...
Mira Lux 26
If you feel like they are getting old then stop reading them.
sweetnsourrr 11
LOL, what? How would I know what they are about if I don't read them? Your comment didn't make any sense....
1jordan1 11
I mean.... Scratching bug bites feels pretty amazing so I'm not sure if this is a bad thing.
Tayleena97 11
What if he scratches your bug bites for you?
dachayke 16
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
LilFidget 4
Run them under HOT water...it's like having an ****** on whatever part of the body they are.