Today, I got more pleasure from itching the bed bug bites from sleeping over at my boyfriend's house than I got from actually sleeping with him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML
Today, after finally going to therapy for anxiety like everyone wanted, I discovered the itching feeling that kept me awake at night was actually caused by a bedbug infestation. FML
Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML
Today, I finally got to see my girlfriend's mouth open with pleasure… while she was scratching a bug bite. FML
Today, I get more pleasure out of scratching my balls than I do out of any sexual activity with my girlfriend. FML
Today, it was my first time sleeping at my boyfriend’s house. I happened to have an incredibly realistic nightmare in which I woke up to thousands of centipedes crawling all over my body. My boyfriend got to watch me scream and slap myself repeatedly. FML
Today, after three visits from exterminators and another from a steam cleaner, I still have bedbugs. FML
Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML
Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML
Today, I found out that the little red dots all over my body aren't some horrible disease like I originally thought. They're bedbug bites. I've managed to not notice a huge infestation for 5 months. FML
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Top comments
Kalipczo 21
erm, if hes actually got bed bugs, you should really have him take care of that...unless you want to bring them home with you :S jussayin. they're tough little bastards.
DaMann360 19
Well that's just...sad
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Comments (49)
americanezio 10
Scratching*
drayloon 50
Thank you. It bugs the shit out of me when people say "itching" in that context
Clawsified 6
It takes two to have sex. Don't just lay there like a dead fish.
blubblubbnb 6
Maybe she's the one doing all the work and he's the plank? *It takes two*
Zebediabolical 45
Then tell /him/ that.
maffy11 16
He seems like a winner
cjwayy 22
Ew! He needs to clean his room and take care of those damn bed bugs!
cmdrtrekk 9
The word is scratching. You can't itch something, it itches you.
giantsfan2010 23
Communication, very important
FYlife604 18
Surprised it's not ex-boyfriend
Zebediabolical 45
Rule #1. Women are responsible for their own pleasure. If you can't or won't express your desires, likes and dislikes to your partner, you deserve all the shitty sex you get. Rule #2. This goes for men too.
GentlemanBastard 15
Ugh bed bugs are ******* gross
MistsMoon 15
scratching* (Itch is the thing, scratching is the verb)