Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML
Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I moved back in after over a month of couch hopping and $2,000 of heat and chemical treatments for a chronic bedbug issue. I just found bedbugs on my legs. We've used all our favors and have nowhere to go. FML
Today, after being moved to three different employer-provided apartments because they all had mold and electrical problems, I requested a bigger bed. The bed they delivered had bedbugs. FML
Today, after three visits from exterminators and another from a steam cleaner, I still have bedbugs. FML
Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML
Today, after finally going to therapy for anxiety like everyone wanted, I discovered the itching feeling that kept me awake at night was actually caused by a bedbug infestation. FML
Today, I woke up to something crawling on my leg. Thinking it might be a spider, I jumped out frantically to check. The good news: it's not a spider. The bad news: it's a bedbug. My apartment was just treated for them. FML
Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML
Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML
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Top comments
UpsidedownKayak 9
Anti-peasents? That's what is wrong with this kingdom, there are too many peasants. We need to find ways to motivate them to grow and harvest food more efficiently. The floggings are just not working like they used to do. That way we can increase our manpower for the construction of the castle. I would like it to be completed in thirty years so I can use the money left over for the training of knights. We also need to widen the forest by the road so there is safe passage through Sherwood Forest.
alwa7sh 2
Apparently they are the only ones keeping you company in bed.
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Comments (204)
alwa7sh 2
Apparently they are the only ones keeping you company in bed.
lovexbox 8
Obviously. FHL.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Well at least he's not completely alone :-)
nahbayccb 0
you guys mean peasents, right?
icecreamdriveby 5
that bites!
UHGG 0
meh..
Nikki_ASW 0
Can't you just sleep on the floor?
nahbayccb 0
yes... can't seem to get the right button .... grrr
Siji 0
Cots or sleeping bags arent expensive, throw that mattress out.
josiej0j0 0
why can't you sleep on the couch??
Carriah420 9
VACUUM YOUR MATTRESS, HELLOO.
hideyoself 4
that sucks, can't you just buy anti peasents or something?
UpsidedownKayak 9
Anti-peasents? That's what is wrong with this kingdom, there are too many peasants. We need to find ways to motivate them to grow and harvest food more efficiently. The floggings are just not working like they used to do. That way we can increase our manpower for the construction of the castle. I would like it to be completed in thirty years so I can use the money left over for the training of knights. We also need to widen the forest by the road so there is safe passage through Sherwood Forest.
alwa7sh 2
But sire, what about that scoundrel Robin hood. he will cause the peasants to revolt against the kingdom. if that happens then we need the anti-peasants to repel them while we train the knights so they wouldn't threaten your throne. LONG LIVE THE KING.
UpsidedownKayak 9
My loyal subject, if such a time comes that the peasants become unruly, I shall simply take their livestock and burn their homes. Then, from my demonstrations, they will know my power and greatness and will humbly fall to their knees, what could possibly go wrong.
caguilar21 0
combo breaker ;(
USAF_girl 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It will cost thousands of dollars to get rid of them. Its a problem that will need a professional. can't afford a mattress? definitely can't afford an exterminator!! poor people.... lol
Xealkry 18
Are you laughing at a fellow human being because they are in worse situation then you? I bet you've been comfortable with money your whole life. Go to hell.
Doortje 30
Eww, that's gross : Isn't there someone you know who has a spare mattress or who can loan you some money?
LoveMySoldier82 0
Mattresses aren't that expensive. Plus they always have people selling it giving away gently used ones all the time.
USAF_girl 3
if it's in her mattress then they are in her whole house. Bed bugs is just a name and doesn't mean they are only in her bed. they are kind of like fleas.
darude908 1
it's not the mattress that's infested. if it's in his bed then it's already spread elsewhere. so even if op get a clean mattress, within a day or two it'll be spoiled again.
snlaurenbb 3
Haha gently used mattresses. Is that opposed to roughly used mattresses? Either way I don't think he wants to sleep on someone else's sex stains. Anyway the bugs get in other places than just the bed. The new bed would get them too. The op needs an exterminator.
MagicMushrooms 0
Sleep on the couch?
neondeath 0
if there's bed bugs on her bed they'd probably be on her couch to and her carpets and every where else in her house
youngclench 0
nah, those are fleas. OP needs to contact an expert immediatly, if he dosent, THEN the bugs will be everywhere, and may become a permanent problem. DON'T throw out your matress until the bugs are dead, otherwise you'll just drag them around the house and they'll infest other parts. Like I said contact someone right now.
TwoZeroOZ 2
Like someone else pointed out, bedbugs is just a name. Bedbugs usually don't live in the bed, but somewhere else. They just come out to feed at night.
sargeantbilko 5
sleep in the bathtub. wash all bedding in 120 degree water, and use fresh bedding every day.
eftup 9
That bites!
robc32ca 4
win
higgy6969 7
nice one
xiShawnx 0
lmao @ FunPun(:
MzKylz 0
don't let the bed bugs bite.,,, good night
Monstee 2
There's an Ap for that.
Prolusive 5
There's an app* to improve your spalling! (Spelling mistake intendad.)
uhohxspaghettixo 0
*intended
Bellaness 11
Win^
Flamehog9 0
^fail he said it was on purpose, you dolt.
underguarded 20
You should try and do SOMETHING about them. those bitches spread and are easily contracted.
mariazzz 5
fumigate. a friend of mine had no idea she had them and they spread in all of her house. she's been trying for a year to get rid of them. good luck!!
blebleble_fml 0
I had the same problem, but I fumigated (I had to do it twice :/) and I'm free now :). I kept my old mattress and it's clean now. you will probably need to vacuum the bugs' corpses
phantomofmusic 0
My roommates and I had them too. Our landlord had the apartment fumigated and our mattresses were put it sealed matters bags. Don't wait OP, you can track them to your car, other people's houses, stores, etc.
quraishakrueger 4
if you cant afford to get rid of them, sleep on the sofa..?
Quasar55_fml 18
he has " Nowhere else to sleep ". Which could mean that either he doesn't have a sofa, or he has one but it's also infested with sofa bugs :)
badbe 0
Omg that made me laugh, Quasar you're a boss.
TropicalTulipz 0
lol that was funnyy :D