Today, I got more pleasure from itching the bed bug bites from sleeping over at my boyfriend's house than I got from actually sleeping with him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML
Today, after finally going to therapy for anxiety like everyone wanted, I discovered the itching feeling that kept me awake at night was actually caused by a bedbug infestation. FML
Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML
Today, I finally got to see my girlfriend's mouth open with pleasure… while she was scratching a bug bite. FML
Today, I get more pleasure out of scratching my balls than I do out of any sexual activity with my girlfriend. FML
Today, it was my first time sleeping at my boyfriend’s house. I happened to have an incredibly realistic nightmare in which I woke up to thousands of centipedes crawling all over my body. My boyfriend got to watch me scream and slap myself repeatedly. FML
Today, after three visits from exterminators and another from a steam cleaner, I still have bedbugs. FML
Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML
Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML
Today, I found out that the little red dots all over my body aren't some horrible disease like I originally thought. They're bedbug bites. I've managed to not notice a huge infestation for 5 months. FML
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Top comments
Kalipczo 21
erm, if hes actually got bed bugs, you should really have him take care of that...unless you want to bring them home with you :S jussayin. they're tough little bastards.
DaMann360 19
Well that's just...sad
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Comments (49)
therealtixe 8
Horrible.
grumpymonk 4
That totally sucks balls hope things get better!!!!!!
gary8082 14
The itch down there isn't from bed bugs.
andersonj219 5
LMAOO
MysteryGuest214 10
You need to raise your standards. Sexual satisfaction and a bug-free home are a good place to start. Personally I'd start with the bugs.
fhritp666 5
I feel like you are too cool with the fact that you now have bed bugs....
Kriositivity 7
Ewww! You might want to get your house inspected now and don't go in your boyfriend's house or touch him until he gets the issue resolved. You probably already have bed bugs. It's when you can see them that it's BAD.
fmlrulesBolt 14
Sucks to be him
AndronicusPark 10
Gross.
metroido 21
Well, sex is about as painful as breaking a toe. And also as pleasurable. It’s not your fault.