Today, I got more pleasure from itching the bed bug bites from sleeping over at my boyfriend's house than I got from actually sleeping with him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML
Today, after finally going to therapy for anxiety like everyone wanted, I discovered the itching feeling that kept me awake at night was actually caused by a bedbug infestation. FML
Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML
Today, I finally got to see my girlfriend's mouth open with pleasure… while she was scratching a bug bite. FML
Today, I get more pleasure out of scratching my balls than I do out of any sexual activity with my girlfriend. FML
Today, it was my first time sleeping at my boyfriend’s house. I happened to have an incredibly realistic nightmare in which I woke up to thousands of centipedes crawling all over my body. My boyfriend got to watch me scream and slap myself repeatedly. FML
Today, after three visits from exterminators and another from a steam cleaner, I still have bedbugs. FML
Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML
Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML
Today, I found out that the little red dots all over my body aren't some horrible disease like I originally thought. They're bedbug bites. I've managed to not notice a huge infestation for 5 months. FML
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Top comments
Kalipczo 21
erm, if hes actually got bed bugs, you should really have him take care of that...unless you want to bring them home with you :S jussayin. they're tough little bastards.
DaMann360 19
Well that's just...sad
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Comments (49)
DaMann360 19
Well that's just...sad
pinkster2014 25
Agreed.
ShannonBitt 29
#3 there's a button for that, it looks a bit like a thumbs up
Daniel589 7
Yeah #3 there was no reason to say that..
Ravike 17
I wonder if OP's bf thinks the same thing
noah_1234 24
i wonder how her boyfriend copes with them...?
Animekid126 13
By saying that you just created more useless comments! and so did I
enginsteve 17
I agree with 49, 50, & 71. Hold on did I get everyone?
gramirez23 9
Communication is key
BigLatchZatch 14
Not the sex screaming type, but the sincere, "that ******* sucked."
xtramoist 6
I think it's because he didn't say "Don't let the bed bugs bite" before they drifted off to sleep.
snippit 18
54 I'm not sure if the pun was intended but it's great :)
Kalipczo 21
erm, if hes actually got bed bugs, you should really have him take care of that...unless you want to bring them home with you :S jussayin. they're tough little bastards.
CoGhostRider 31
I think I would be more worried about the bad sex...
Pandaling 12
You've clearly never had bed bugs, #17.
okaydisarray 17
Actually, depending on how long he's had them, it's likely she's already taken them home. Unless she's taken precautions (i.e., spraying her shoes with alcohol after leaving, throwing her clothes in the dryer immediately upon returning home or before leaving his place). Likewise for when he stops in for a visit. OP, you may want to have a pest control company inspect your home. They're horrible little creatures and the larger the infestation, the more difficult they are to get rid of.
sunnyray812 42
Bed bugs are NOT easy to take care of especially since they are a huge epidemic in the U.S. Once you fight to get rid of them costing lots of money, they can come back very easily.
okaydisarray 17
You're right, but the sooner you catch an infestation and have a succession of treatments done, the greater your chances are of irradicating them. Also, thoroughly following all prepratory procedures given by the pest control company, which most people are very lax about. But the chances of clearing a single family home are greater than those of an apartment building as they can move from unit to unit.
doctorhook86 25
#23: 17 looks to be some kind of cowboy, so he might already be used to sleeping in the hayloft with vermin crawling all over his ass. "Don' worry 'bout them bedbugs, li'l girl--pickup trucks, painted-on jeans, old dirt roads, and Jack Daniels will take care of 'em. Yeehaw!"
xSLEEPYxHEADx 22
At least your boyfriend didn't BUG you.
CaptainCola 7
*Cleveland's voice* Oh that's nasty
vairyhagina 11
This comment is in like 2/3 of all FML comment sections.
breeyand 15
Lol
baseballbv 17
And this type of FML is 2/3 of all FMLs. I can't tell you how many times I've seen an FML like this.
Just_A_Tree 20
Wait, which one's nasty? The apparently really bad sex, or the bed bugs? Because both can fit that description.
1tsmenoah 20
More like thats ******* disgusting
Jak0p 25
I know the pleasure those itchy stings give. it's great! But if this is a usual situation in your bedroom you should really spice things up! you are on the internet, there are more tips out there than you even could reproduce. Try some new things!
toowie_fml 20
I agree, willingness to explore new things in the bedroom is key to a good love life!
PoisonOrchid 21
Exactly. A boring bedroom will kill a relationship pretty easily. Have an open kind, communicate with your partner and try some new techniques. There is a faction out there for almost anything you can think of.
TheDarkKnight34 7
Karma sutra anyone?
sexual_girl 15
That sounds like a very dysfunctional relationship... You and your boyfriend need to talk and communicate more.
spatula232 25
This sounds like a few previous FMLs...
Neverafter 14
While sleeping with him, make him scratch your bug bites. yeaaah!
ShannonBitt 29
TheMarshmellow 14
That really sucks… I know what the bastards are like, and it's almost impossible to get rid of them. I'd take care of that.