Today, I finally got to see my girlfriend's mouth open with pleasure… while she was scratching a bug bite. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML
Today, I realized how bad my sex life is when I scratched a mosquito bite and almost had an orgasm. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
Today, I finally gave in and agreed to try holding my girlfriend's pet tarantula. The moment I did, it bit me. According to her she’s had him 4 years and he’s never so much as nipped her, never mind a full bite. Lucky me. My hand is twice the normal size and I can feel my heartbeat in it. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
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Top comments
SirEnigM0nk 22
Like the late Kurt Cobain would say, "A mosquito, my libido."
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Comments (1)
SirEnigM0nk 22
Like the late Kurt Cobain would say, "A mosquito, my libido."