Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting two holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML
Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML
Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML
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Top comments
mahimalil 0
☆。★。☆。★ 。☆ 。☆。☆ ★。＼｜／。★ Happy New Year! ★。／｜＼。★ 。☆。 。☆。 ☆。 ★。 ☆
SmokyMcBong 1
well atleast u can make up a bad ass story about what could have happened to ur eye haha
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Comments (91)
gooBUZZ 0
Unlucky OP. :(
thecrazyasian 3
ydi for being physically challenged.
SmokyMcBong 1
well atleast u can make up a bad ass story about what could have happened to ur eye haha
WeeGee_fml 0
I'd say "I got into a fight with Chuck Norris" that'd be epic but you'd probably end up dead. even if your a match for him he'll just pull out his 3rd fist, it's hiding in his beard, and start wailing you. Bruce Lee doesn't hold a candle to Chuck Norris. that's why if you type "norr" on you I phone or pod it gives you the option of "Norris" . and that's the bottom line cause stone...cold...said so
The_Creeper_fml 8
I was fighting Jack F. Crazyfish when...
loony_toon 2
you made my day dude XD lmao
MyChemical_fml 0
I thought it was Jack M. Crazy fish.. :( RECTANGLES!!!
lol523 0
like in spongebob xD
evan_789 7
norr... it didn't give me the option of "Norris", until I put an "I" in it...
jonan1212 5
Norris
TXjuggalo972 6
op u need to go out and get you some ass
meowmeowwkitty 0
were you??! LOL
WeeGee_fml 0
but I thought everyone was born with their ass? and what's does that have to do with this FML? you sir make no sense
flyersfan365 0
dude you are 13 stfu.
whippymcdumb4zs 0
juggalo's are a bunch of pussy ass emo bitches
TXjuggalo972 6
haha yall wouldn't know what getting some ass is ****** dumbfucks
jazziness 12
I bet ur friends would've enjoyed ur company
alicianoar 7
Happy new year??
KittehSayzRAWR 0
Nice ass, JK
lexxiii 17
at least you're trying to have fun?
TXjuggalo972 6
your pic scars me
TXjuggalo972 6
*scares
unidentified_sta 5
"Scars me" What like emotionally or physics-defying physical scarring? EDIT: Obvious what I'm responding to.
alicianoar 7
Your pic turns me on ;)
aquastar 0
your pic scares me more txjuggalo :) haha jk. I have a few friends who are juggalos/lettes. they're pretty cool
unidentified_sta 5
Must be one of those really rustic and exotic brands, you never stood a chance.
smerry 3
get off FML and go celebrate new years!! PS For the haterz I'm on my iPhone waiting so get off me
Cass3m0 0
Yay for drinking on New Year's? People can have fun crankin' up some tunes drunk.
mahimalil 0
☆。★。☆。★ 。☆ 。☆。☆ ★。＼｜／。★ Happy New Year! ★。／｜＼。★ 。☆。 。☆。 ☆。 ★。 ☆
soccerjb7 1
wooaahhh. how'd u do that thing with all the stars?
mahimalil 0
To be honest, I acully didn't, my friend texted me from her phone with this. I asked how she did it and told me she downloaded an app and copied and pasted it.