Today, at our kid's extracurricular, my ex, with whom I have been fighting for our child for ten years, casually admitted that his preferred murder weapon is an axe. This is surprisingly in character. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I apparently didn’t teach my son the difference between defending himself from bullies and knocking out the bully's teeth, breaking his nose, cracking his ribs, and grinding his fingers under his boot until the bone splintered. Yes, the cops are involved and my ex-wife blames me, of course. FML
Today, my teenage son broke into my gun safe, took my gun, and dumped the magazine into the side of his ex-girlfriend's family home. He's completely stunned that he was arrested and charged with attempted murder. My wife blames me and wants a divorce. FML
Today, my now ex-fiancée confessed that "our" child is most likely actually hers and my father's. FML
Today, while still desperately trying to be civil to my ex for the sake of our kids, I went round to his flat and found him passed out drunk with his air pistol on the floor. He’d been using pictures of me as targets. I think "civil" might be a hopeless goal at this point. FML
Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 10 years has a beloved wife and a gun. I never even knew he was married or that he packed heat; others outed him. His response is not one of remorse but of self-righteousness and being outright mean to me, especially fun given my dad just died, and my uncaring mom attacks me for not supporting genocide. FML
Today, I realized that over 20 years ago I married a man who could never mature, after we had a marital argument and he couldn't just have an one side, but rather decided to involve our 11 year-old old son, allowing him to repeat his words toward me, like "bitch", "whore", and "cunt." FML
Today, I came home early to find my (now ex) girlfriend having a screaming argument with my son, because he caught her trying to burn pictures of my late wife. I'm back to being single, but at least I can be proud of my son for standing up to her (he's usually very timid). Can't believe I was dating that psycho. FML
Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML
Today, my stepson punched a girl because she wouldn’t accept his apology about punching her last week, when she wouldn’t lend him her pen. At this point I’m convinced he will one day go to prison for murder during a bar brawl or wife beating, since he has a temper and only seems to hit girls. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
Why would a custody battle go on for 10 years? Something is seriously screwed up here… Most parents have joint custody and figure out how to deal with it. If one is a particularly unfit parent then custody is usually awarded to one parent and visitation for the other is under supervised conditions. Either way sorting out custody issues very rarely lasts anywhere like that long… Unfortunately occasionally “custody” sometimes becomes an economic issue - The custodial parent usually receives child support payments from the non-custodial parent. And sometimes it’s just a power play to punish the ex for something that should have been over a long time ago.
RichardPencil 32
Tell him yours is poison and offer him an apple.
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
Tell him yours is poison and offer him an apple.
Chazzster 32
Why would a custody battle go on for 10 years? Something is seriously screwed up here… Most parents have joint custody and figure out how to deal with it. If one is a particularly unfit parent then custody is usually awarded to one parent and visitation for the other is under supervised conditions. Either way sorting out custody issues very rarely lasts anywhere like that long… Unfortunately occasionally “custody” sometimes becomes an economic issue - The custodial parent usually receives child support payments from the non-custodial parent. And sometimes it’s just a power play to punish the ex for something that should have been over a long time ago.