Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML
Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML
Today, while we were in a hotel, I got so drunk I apparently couldn't find my room, and passed out in the corridor. I woke up to see hotel staff calling security. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up in the hospital with a broken coccyx. Apparently, my drunk self came to the glorious conclusion that it would be a good idea to cannonball into a puddle while screaming "POOLPARTYYYY!" at the top of my lungs. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
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Top comments
gogo44444 28
You should get a restraining order on yourself
ExtremeEncounter 32
More like beat up by the doormat.
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Comments (41)
SOILEDIT 51
Well, YDI for drinking yourself shitfaced.
timmay801 10
First vote
thestoryofacaleb 14
Totally your fault. Definitely deserved that one. Sorry OP- feel better soon.
gogo44444 28
You should get a restraining order on yourself
dhiran_singh 16
And stay 500 m away from yourself LOL
vikky538 29
Best comment ever!
Delta_0DST 12
I'm a bit curious as to how that'll work
ExtremeEncounter 32
More like beat up by the doormat.
Delta_0DST 12
Achievement Unlocked
TacticalBacon 10
Great friends you got their...
_ravens_ 11
There*
Xx_Slayer_xX 22
Elegant..Classy. Cunning and finesse. Simple terms to describe this amazing mess that you managed to pull off. Thanks for making me face palm. ??
freddygasman 18
and the question is, what are four words that don't describe op?
homesuckfucker 28
Sucks that you got hurt, but they do say to drink in moderation for a reason.
Chikiriwak 17
Well... you got drunk...
everybodysnerves 5
decent friends tho, may not have protected your face, but tried to protect your pride
Feklfekl2222 32
Worse in the long run. I would rather have a few scrapes from the floor and know, over marching into the club and demanding to see the footage of myself being beaten up by a rogue employee, only to witness myself falling over. Bad decision from the friends