Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML
Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML
Today, I accidentally gave myself a black eye. I would laugh about it if my friends didn't start suspecting that my husband is abusing me, and won't listen when I try to explain what really happened. FML
Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML
Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting two holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house to give him some moral support as he came out of the closet to his family. I left with a black eye. FML
Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
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Top comments
omgbrainZ_fml 24
Should of told him " that'll be you in the coffin if you don't shut up"
lemontreee 11
That's cold.
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Comments (131)
lemontreee 11
That's cold.
adrianh1090 12
OP deserved to get a black eye. If your mother died and someone disrespected her at her own funeral, they deserve to get beat up.
reneetlovesyou 30
Good for you OP, for defending your best friend. How wildly inappropriate. Give the douche one back.
That_Ginger 18
OP wasn't the one who made the joke unless he was speaking about himself in third person and broke up his own fight.
IDontKnowWhoIAm04 24
Hey 22, OP WASNT THE ONE MAKING THE JOKE! He was trying to defend his friend, who was mad at another guy for making a joke.
Bilbo_Swaggins 5
He didnt defend anything... he just broke up a fight.
wellthen7154 12
I honestly would like to know OP deserved this....
dachayke 16
I think what 22 is saying, is that op should let the guy who made the joke get beat up. Still, OP never said his friend was winning, and you don't want it to get so bad that the cops arrive. But I don't think that 22 was trying to say op made the joke.
FangirlingAlways 14
#36 is right, #22 just worded it weirdly.
illegalbeagle69 23
Yeah the guy deserved to get his ass kicked, but I can understand why he broke up the fight. Them being at a funeral and all.
konstantinos616 17
So is her body.
applebramble 22
I hope they kicked the douchebag out . That's just so disrespectful . Know the time and place!
Jelbeztok 17
#62 I knew at least one person would say it...
incoherentrmblr 22
Black eye well worth it...
konstantinos616 17
Somebody had to do it.
sempiternal80816 9
I guess you could say...he's cold as ice.
omgbrainZ_fml 24
Should of told him " that'll be you in the coffin if you don't shut up"
colton_colton 50
Where do those type of people even come from?
pwnman 33
Their parents, of course..
junkman6 22
#33 the westboro baptist church.
Ambient25 25
They're the offspring of people who type "Fake" as their only comment...
VenomSiphon 13
lol @ the guy named omgbrainz writing "should of" instead of "should have" .
gmc_blossom 21
Lol @ the douche who just had to make it seem like it mattered. It's a common mistake, bro. Let it go.
Trin_Tran 26
The other guy deserves the black eye not you OP . FYL indeed .
SmuggletheBudgie 15
I would have kicked his head in.
Kamon97 23
The other guy deserves to be in the coffin instead
Ambient25 25
No he deserves to be roped to a chair with his eyes pried open with a TV in front of him that displays the entire volume of High School Musical on repeat. One hour of that and you'd be begging for a hara-kiri sword too....
Ambient25 25
I want to drown you
Siererrr 13
Hey! High School Musical is a great movie #92.
gmc_blossom 21
@118 Justin Bieber is a great singer, too.
skittle_QUEEN_YO 15
Slow down there satan & tartarus it was only a douche yo momma joke i think justin bieber for i say 15 mins will do him in
skittle_QUEEN_YO 15
Okay since the grammar police are on parol i ment to say. slow down there Satan and Tartarus, it was only a douchey guy saying a yo momma joke. I think 15 mins of justin bieber (idk add some more singers that well aren't that grande into the mix. Why not!) and that will do him in!
Mynamewontfi 40
Oh man, that's bad, sorry OP. Good for you that you stepped in though.
littlem91 29
I don't know, I think helping beat up the insensitive bastard would've been a better choice than breaking it up. It does suck though, hope the idiot came off worse!
ChristianH39 30
I would agree with you 45 but nobody would want it to escalate to the point where the police get involved
GEBEH 14
Wellnif the police gets involved OP's friend's family are a nice set of witnesses statimg that the other dude was going berserk and they had to restrain him!
littlem91 29
It'd be hard to prove if they couldn't find the body...
Mynamewontfi 40
#45 I agree that beating the guy up would be something that I would do too, but after the funeral, not during. Beating someone up during a funeral is in poor taste imo.
kurodansei 16
Yo momma so fat, we had to bury her 12 feet under.
Welshite 40
To soon. There are times when jokes aren't not appropriate, in my opinion. This is one of them.
hamzor 5
So you're the bastard who said the joke at the funeral
kurodansei 16
"TO" soon? "Aren't not" appropriate? Wtf dude? lol
OctoDope 15
Just. Get your things, and leave. Now
onlychildFTW 34
And don't come back.
Qwermy 16
hamzor, don't insult the Bastard family like that. Doc will certainly not appreciate it
nightstalker282 6
You're a douche for that. There's a special place in hell for people like you.
ffffffffck 13
OT, but I just choked on #72s username :,D
MilkshakeSwagger 13
they are sick!
Rizzen 27
that was honestly cruel of the person
leary96 15
That's ****** up, wear that black eye with pride you got it while doing the right thing.
TXFernwoods 26
What an ass. Hopefully he got kicked out. Sorry OP.
oj101 33
I wonder what that person thought he had to gain from making that awful joke. I'm sure that funerals aren't supposed to be a barrel of laughs.
Axipiter 24
Mine will be... I'm going to plan it like you would a party just to make sure.
HammyBear13 8
I dont think a "your mama" joke is even appropriate at a funeral planned like a party. Especially if the deceased is a mother and her children are there. Thats just disrespectful.