Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done, I went to zip up, then realized I'd never unzipped. FML
Pain like no one has ever seen before
Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML
Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
Butterfingers
Today, I somehow managed to slice open my thumb. The dangerous weapon that caused this to happen? Velcro. FML
Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML
It's called fashion, OK? Look it up.
Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML
Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML
Top comments
Michaelgee 2
I guess you can you say your fashion sense is certainly "cutting edge" Sincerely, Your useless superhero Bad Pun Man.
hannah1203 2
Rabbi's don't get paid to do circumcisions, but they do keep the tips...
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Comments (403)
123guitar95 0
ahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahaahahaha
birdfreak 24
owwwwwwwwwwwie I'm srry and who ever said that u deserved it is a fudge bucket
birdfreak 24
owwwwwwwwwwwie I'm srry and who ever said that u deserved it is a fudge bucket
KjoeLjan 4
Been there, done that. But still: You should'ce known it would hurt.
thetrollyoulike 6
you've been circumcised by a zipper before?
randomstudios 0
several times
TalkinSmack 6
that'll teach ya for goin commando :P
MrCush89 0
just reading this hurts me yo...deeeeezamn.
iluvpink10 0
how could 124 people think he deserved this?
poseiden295 0
OUCH!!!!!!
dadof2 4
well ........yea got nothin sorry dude
JustineBeann 0
well that's okay.. sex feels better when it's circumcised
KickItHigh 32
You would know... Have you been with both? (Circumcised and uncircumcised)
MuffyStJacques 0
Wrong, uncircumcised feels better.
marziscrazy 6
For girls its better circumcised