Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done, I went to zip up, then realized I'd never unzipped. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I really had to pee at work and rushed to the urinal. I unzipped but couldn't find the hole in the front of my boxers and ended up pissing my pants. I had put my boxers on backwards. FML
Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML
Today, I approached the girl I like, hoping to ask her out. Just as I strode up to her, she excused herself as quickly as she could. I then realized I'd forgotten to zip up my pants after going to the bathroom minutes before. FML
Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
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Top comments
superstephen4 5
wow. I can imagine doing that
TheKitsune 0
Don't guys need to... aim? Do you usually just let it flop about while you pee?
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Comments (97)
superstephen4 5
wow. I can imagine doing that
Zhejan 0
Somebody peed in your pants?
Reyo 2
I'm noticing that most, if not ALL of the FMLs innvolving the OP being shitfucked drunk are YDIs
pinkfloydd77 0
I was gonna say FYL, but i realized the guy who posted this was french... so YDI
Reyo 2
You do know Freddy Mercury from Queen took it in the pooper, right? Just thought you should know that since you're comparing yourself to them.
null_fml 11
Reyo - are you a homophobe? I bet it tears you up inside that Freddie Mercury was more man than you could ever hope to be in your life. :D
F3n0m 0
I don't know but I bet Freddy Murcury got torn up inside.... giggity. btw I love queen!!!
KRYPTON1T3 5
it would have been fml if you weren't drunk.
Leadamp 7
57 your point being?
drummer_dude 0
Ouch D: I hate it when I forget to move my tie.
asdfghjklana 9
???
Jared900DUmpling 30
He means when his long tie hangs down it blocks his stream.
TheKitsune 0
Don't guys need to... aim? Do you usually just let it flop about while you pee?
blland 0
not only do we let it flop about, we also swing it about so the pee can get everywhere. trust me!
evangldbrg 0
You spin me right ‘round, baby Right ‘round like a record, baby Right ‘round, ‘round, ‘round, You spin me right ‘round, baby Right ‘round like a record, baby Right ‘round, ‘round, ‘round
SarahinSane 0
Oh god lol
AssassinsCRB 0
Not if you have a stiffy
bronson1028 8
Not if it's short. Then he always stands at attention.
supercu96 0
hahahhahahahhahahahaha i always check my zippers before i leve my room or bathroom xD
Oxy_Moron 0
LMAO... nicely done
iTony_fml 0
you totally deserved it for being that drunk
Exhumed 0
first
suckstobeyou3 0
Fail.
fringle 0
Maybe you were just iPhone first or iPod first. Unfortunately the app delays it. Or maybe you're just a troll.
kyleinsane 0
fuken fail
TC1_fml 0
Em, you wouldn't remember it if you were THAT ******...
skybeau 0
It's possible to remember those kind of "Oh shit" moments when you're wasted. I have a friend who can get absolutely hammered, pass out, vomit, and when he wakes up, all he remembers is vomiting. OR, it's possible that the OP a) had someone point it out later on or b) realised his pants were covered in pee and put two and two together.
shinny0406 12
some people can remember being f'ed my mom can get hammered and still remember everything we talked about. before I had kids I never blacked out I remembered not so much anymore...
teebonehead 0
EWWW ! You lose , fail game over go home.
fringle 0
That is disgusting