Bobby M
Ireland
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Chester (Seattle)
United States
Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
loser
France
Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done, I went to zip up, then realized I'd never unzipped. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Pain like no one has ever seen before
Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML
liu_kang
United States
Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML
box bulge
China
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
eiregal2
Cork, Ireland
Butterfingers
Today, I somehow managed to slice open my thumb. The dangerous weapon that caused this to happen? Velcro. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML
Seamstressed
Italy
It's called fashion, OK? Look it up.
Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML
Top comments
Michaelgee 2
I guess you can you say your fashion sense is certainly "cutting edge" Sincerely, Your useless superhero Bad Pun Man.
hannah1203 2
Rabbi's don't get paid to do circumcisions, but they do keep the tips...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (403)
ningaunicorn 0
dude how is that even possible?????
skatergamedude 0
ouch bro!!!
ashleighmef 7
don't go free and you could have avoided that minor procedure
dannilozon 0
ewie
tommyboy101 0
**** that man no way. that would kill!!!!
jenaandtyler4eva 0
sucks for you
FlyingLazerWALRU 0
Ouch. Well, that's why you get it done when your a baby. Much less painful.
Pinkandblack 0
Mazel Tov!
mbthebulldog 0
Brandon!?
DoubtedSeeker 0
I'm sorry for two thing tight now 1. your penis; 2. the fact that I'm laughing at all these comments at you expense XD