Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done, I went to zip up, then realized I'd never unzipped. FML
Pain like no one has ever seen before
Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML
Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
Butterfingers
Today, I somehow managed to slice open my thumb. The dangerous weapon that caused this to happen? Velcro. FML
Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML
It's called fashion, OK? Look it up.
Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML
Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML
Top comments
Michaelgee 2
I guess you can you say your fashion sense is certainly "cutting edge" Sincerely, Your useless superhero Bad Pun Man.
hannah1203 2
Rabbi's don't get paid to do circumcisions, but they do keep the tips...
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Comments (403)
Joppa 0
where the **** did your undergarment go? why did you zip it up before you put your underwear on, retard?
shitslegit 0
it's time you start wearing underwear.
mami2flii 0
ooooch
e2m2cent 0
oh god uaghhg It's hurting me just thinking about it :(
69urmutha 0
i RAPED the favourite button
ballesteros1992 0
kosher pants?
Stravv 0
Omg that sounds like it hurt
imsobad 0
awww I'm sorry! ouch.....
Papaw_fml 3
FRANKS N BEANS!!!
Blake4477 0
126) you should be able to if you go to the middle of the comment because I just did it on my iPhone!(: