Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done, I went to zip up, then realized I'd never unzipped. FML
Pain like no one has ever seen before
Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML
Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
Butterfingers
Today, I somehow managed to slice open my thumb. The dangerous weapon that caused this to happen? Velcro. FML
Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML
It's called fashion, OK? Look it up.
Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML
Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML
Top comments
Michaelgee 2
I guess you can you say your fashion sense is certainly "cutting edge" Sincerely, Your useless superhero Bad Pun Man.
hannah1203 2
Rabbi's don't get paid to do circumcisions, but they do keep the tips...
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Comments (403)
CSRozell 4
**** me you win today's FML hands down
Kushman10 0
lol hilarious. but that does suck.
karmicsamadi86 9
Guys need to be more careful. There were 3 teenage boys in the E.R last week alone for that!
Gknd 0
now imagine putting lemon juice on the wound...
zombiekitten87 12
gross. should have had that done when you were a baby
gorillawarfare92 1
... or not, since it's a mostly unnecessary procedure.
sweeetas 5
HAH. oh **** that is funny
beast2000 0
OMG!!! that made me cry!! Fyl dude
yomoneyisgreat 0
almost happen to me today but my baggy boxers saved my life
sleepyhungry93 0
ahaha...aha...ahahaha...ha.
Waltman217 0
*shudders* ouch!