Today, I got back from a week long holiday with my new girlfriend. I started thinking about her whilst talking to my parents and reflexively cupped my mother's ass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
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Top comments
UnidentifiedFun 37
**** your mother's life tbh
zach055 23
I honestly don't know how to respond to that. My brain isn't equipped to handle such information.
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Comments (133)
Kwphunter 15
Did you also instinctively say "who's your daddy?"
JackDupp 11
And she replied "Your grandpa. Or as you call him, Uncle Ray"
Arcanel 18
come on man... that just dont happen !
zachjm98 16
Ever heard of the Oedipus complex? :p
bellydancer82 15
Ummm... No. Sorry, but idk how you "reflexively" cup your own mother's ass. You should be able to hold back enough to not touch someone else (especially your mother) inappropriately. YDI OP.
8Dirty1 24
dammmm!!!!! can't say it wouldn't happen to me if I didnt catch myself n stop ahead with any girl nearby haha tip think of simon cowel so you will vomit instead
Dexter83_fml 17
How in the hell do you do that ? Seriously wtf !!!
fantasyworld 39
How is that a reflex?
8Dirty1 24
it's a reflex because your body does it on its own because he is so used to being able to grab his gf's ass whenever he wants
themostunlucky_fml 14
Omg fyl I feel bad for the both of you
DA3Z 16
How... Even?
Brandon1000 10
At least you didn't cup your fathers ass