Today, I got back from a week long holiday with my new girlfriend. I started thinking about her whilst talking to my parents and reflexively cupped my mother's ass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
UnidentifiedFun 37
**** your mother's life tbh
zach055 23
I honestly don't know how to respond to that. My brain isn't equipped to handle such information.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (133)
stonewashed 12
I'm always so scared I'll do that... grabbing my moms hand has been close several times!
cptncuttlefish 24
What the ever living hell did I just read.
Lei_Aili 18
Calm down, Oedipus.
veteran841 8
O
rabid_otaku 29
That should NOT be an instinct.
thatsjustgreat1 16
That's going to be an interesting supper discussion.
anarchymaniac 22
Awkward
megs925 16
"Reflexively"?? Why is that a reflex?
AssassinBall 12
Somebody has an Oedipus complex up in here. Did you also accidentally kill your father, then marry your mother, cause her to hang herself, stab your eyes out, and then forfeit your kingdom? ...Damn, Oedipus is one messed up story.
zarrganaut 17
How does that even happen? Lol.