Today, I got back from a week long holiday with my new girlfriend. I started thinking about her whilst talking to my parents and reflexively cupped my mother's ass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
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Top comments
UnidentifiedFun 37
**** your mother's life tbh
zach055 23
I honestly don't know how to respond to that. My brain isn't equipped to handle such information.
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Comments (133)
JerkfaceHD 9
I incest you not do that
Skycop_S 23
I was not ready for that. If you will excuse me, I'm going into a closet to rethink my life
live2loveurself 11
Lol, it's a reflex to cup your mother's butt?
mattynick 11
I remember being like 8 years old and everyone said that. The funny thing is everyone would then try and do it. Looking back I think it's funny because if you succeeded, well you'd be dead. ( I don't think anyone thought it through)
SpawnofAthena 16
Yeah, I had to read that twice.
cek727 16
I'm sorry but it that is a reflex, then you have been objectifying your girlfriend something awful. Consider this a wake up call to behave more in a more gentleman-like manner. Please understand that I'm not saying there is anything wrong with the occasional squeeze. However, if you do it so often that it is a reflex, then something isn't right.
Keiraquarium 12
You went on a week long holiday with your new girlfriend?
Fablelord 14
What. The. Honest. F***?
MooseKnuckle503 11
I've almost kissed my dad good bye omce.
PlayD3ad 2
The price you pay for love.