Today, I got back from a week long holiday with my new girlfriend. I started thinking about her whilst talking to my parents and reflexively cupped my mother's ass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
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Top comments
UnidentifiedFun 37
**** your mother's life tbh
zach055 23
I honestly don't know how to respond to that. My brain isn't equipped to handle such information.
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Comments (133)
ForeverJasmine 26
You gotta have respect for your mother. That's not respectful
Magnoxidans 19
I never thought I'd see 'Reflexively' and 'cupped my mother's ass' in the same sentence... Good old FML
Yuso_Yagari 9
The actual Dick ?
Yuso_Yagari 9
*******
nonononononono_fml 16
The fact that you cup your girlfriend's ass without thinking so often that it becomes a reflex has got to be pretty annoying for anyone around you guys on a regular basis. YDI, OP, think before you do.
Badkarma4u 17
Oh god F your life indeed. The thought of that makes me shudder.
caggybandicoot 34
I could've gone the whole rest of my life without that image in my head.
patte_fml 19
On the bright side, you're nominated now: Most awkward FML ever.
MasterBob_fml 14
Does your mom have a nice ass?
NotRussian 16
Oedipus complex....
hpandher 16
That's disgusting... I don't care what others say I judge you