Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML
Today, it was lovely outside so I decided to tan outside. I burn pretty easily, so I put on sunscreen. I fell asleep on my side, so when I woke up, I had a massive burn on only one side of my body, with sunglass lines. Tomorrow, I have a job interview. I'm going to go in looking like a racoon. FML
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
teqifsha 0
Your fault
Jacobt24 19
You didn't correct her before she started spraying? YDI
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (221)
compasseagle89 8
why would someone magically know that you were only joking about it? even if you were snickering about it the whole time, you said "darkest" and that's what she gave you. what did you expect?
WtfLoser 13
Why would you joke about it? Honestly .. Like, you told her you wanted the darkest tan, and you see her not smiling/asking for anything else .. Dont you wonder? Wtf . Why would you joke in the first place !
equalzmusic 0
just to be clear, i only gave you thumbs up because you used the word: 'thus'.
MrJojobinks 6
You shouldn't have said that. ydi
percyh 0
So tomorrow, write about your first day as a black person.
justs0me_r0mance 0
It sounds like it was your first spray tan & you said darkest. now you look like an oompa loompa && wanna act like you said "darkest" as a joke...nah just inexperienced. YDI :) sorry!
cupcakes729 7
Why would you even joke before getting tanned?!?!?
kitesflyhigh4 1
I read the first line and hit "you deserved it". Spray tans = fail
Masii 3
Thass what happens when u joke too much.
HannahBananaRose 0
You Stoopid!