Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML
Today, it was lovely outside so I decided to tan outside. I burn pretty easily, so I put on sunscreen. I fell asleep on my side, so when I woke up, I had a massive burn on only one side of my body, with sunglass lines. Tomorrow, I have a job interview. I'm going to go in looking like a racoon. FML
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
teqifsha 0
Your fault
Jacobt24 19
You didn't correct her before she started spraying? YDI
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (221)
oops_im_fucked 8
Oompa-loompa duppidy doo! What will you do when snooki is the name of you?!
alinka_fml 0
Thats what you get for being an idiot
lilmillion22 5
It's idiots like you that make me keep coming back to FML
stupdude3 8
So, are you like, black now?
oops_im_fucked 8
No, she's a now known as a snooki
stupdude3 8
Today, I went to a restaurant. The waitress asked me what food I want. As a joke, I asked for a burger. I got a burger. FML
psuedodragon 23
I think the only way OP could've been any more YDI is if it went something like... "Today I picked up some of the darkest self-tanner as a joke. I turned out super orange. FML"
Gemmy_44 7
"Today, I got a spray tan." Could've ended right there and still been an FML. Everyone I've ever known who's gotten one of those shitty spray tans has regretted it. Self-tanning should be similar to going from dark hair to platinum blonde--you should do it gradually to make it look natural. You'd be better off buying a $10 bottle of self-tanner and some latex gloves at Walmart and doing it yourself in your bathroom. Just remember to exfoliate first and don't overapply to knuckles, knees, or elbows. The feet are tricky, too. Oh hell, just go outside with a drink and a book and get brown naturally.
BrianAlarcon 0
Now theirs 2 Akons! :O
Bently24 6
If you didnt say "haha just kidding" at the end then isnt that your fault?
crazy_cute_girl 0
um?you totally deserved it..why would you even say that?:3