Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML
Today, it was lovely outside so I decided to tan outside. I burn pretty easily, so I put on sunscreen. I fell asleep on my side, so when I woke up, I had a massive burn on only one side of my body, with sunglass lines. Tomorrow, I have a job interview. I'm going to go in looking like a racoon. FML
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
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Top comments
teqifsha 0
Your fault
Jacobt24 19
You didn't correct her before she started spraying? YDI
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Comments (221)
SneezyC 15
Attractive ...
mmmmmmmmmmmmbeer 4
Ok seriously?? Wtf is up with spray tans in the first place?? Girls look WAY sexier natural.. Learn to feel comfortable in your own skin.. (pun intended)
bad_chiquita 5
Unintentional racism with unintentional blackface...awkward.
iheartbewbies 0
I didn't even notice you forgot to type 'be' until you pointed it out :p
WeaverSka 16
Ok, lets put this in simple terms: If you ask for it, they will give you it. If you go to the hairdressers for a trim, but tell them you want a mohawk; you will get a mohawk. If you go to a restaurant and ask for a burger, they will give you a burger. Either stop joking and be straight with people (Because if thats a joke, then your jokes suck) OR make a sign saying "Im Joking" or "Sarcasm".
manda_rawrz 4
you're close to new jersey. i see a new friendship with snooki heading your way. c:
jayemdoubleyou 1
So you "jokingly" said the darkest but never said what you actually wanted? Right. You wanted darkest and realized it looked like shit and decided to pass the blame. YDI
Egnar 19
Ok maybe it was a joke to you, but, even if both of you guys laugh at it unless you correct yourself and say "no just kidding I want XYZ" how could you expect her to not do her job? FYL because you don't have common sense, not because you look like an employee of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.
quadder 0
OGive your head a shake, now you look like one of those ooMpA loompas from jersey shorel
metallicshadow 16
so how was she supposed to know you were joking?