Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML
Today, it was lovely outside so I decided to tan outside. I burn pretty easily, so I put on sunscreen. I fell asleep on my side, so when I woke up, I had a massive burn on only one side of my body, with sunglass lines. Tomorrow, I have a job interview. I'm going to go in looking like a racoon. FML
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
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Top comments
teqifsha 0
Your fault
Jacobt24 19
You didn't correct her before she started spraying? YDI
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Comments (221)
kickblocker 18
YDI, you didn't stop her when she started?
gusgus36 5
why... are you so dumb...
slushpup9696 12
use vine whip!
LyssaMc06 2
#25- perhaps she sunburns easily, and prefers to not end up with skin cancer? OP, you're a dumbass for not saying 'JUST KIDDING! '
jennjennsofly 7
Once you gone black you can never go back, but Ydi. Ib
jennjennsofly 7
**** I wonder if op actually told her what op actually wanted after that, what was she suppose to guess?
neongurl98 10
Wow genius!
dy1987 7
Today, my childhood friend and I jokenly got married but the priest did a real wedding. FML -Britney Spears
dy1987 7
I apologize my post was awful but it is really what popped in my mind when I read this; how Spears was saying it was supposed to have been a joke. But anyways, it just proves the point that you don't joke with someone you don't know unless you make sure they understand that it was a joke and what you actually want, especially when it comes to changing the color of your skin semi-permanently.
cufaoil 11
joking would have been: "What shade do you want?" "Raspberry ripple"
psuedodragon 23
I kind of want to go in for a spray tan now... Just so I can say this. Of course, based on my luck that'll be an actual colour and I'll come out looking like a lobster...
DamnSmooth 0
You were probably more serious about it than you are willing to admit. And you just realized how god-awfully retarded you look.
tinycroc 10
Well, when you're ordering a product and you say what you want to get, it's pretty much your fault if you give a joke reply and not correct it to the right one. Did you think they would magically read your mind about what actual shade you want before they started spraying? The person was just doing their job as they had been told to by you. YDI