Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was told that a coworker of mine absolutely hates me. Why? Because sometimes I have a slight stutter, and he thinks I'm mocking his very apparent stutter. FML
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
Today, I was fixing something for a guy at a steel manufacturing company. His employees told me that their boss can't hear properly, so I'd have to be loud when talking to him. When I'd finished, he asked me if I normally talked like that, or if there was something wrong with me. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me in front of several customers for gesturing too much while I talk, because it's "unprofessional". I was using sign language. FML
Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML
Today, I got put in a speech impediment class because apparently I have a lisp. No, my tongue is just swollen, and I can't talk very well because of it. I've talked normally for the past 17 years. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML
Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
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Top comments
teague95 16
That's smart. Think someone might be possessed, talk about them behind their back.
MrFuzzles 5
The power of Christ compels you!!
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Comments (103)
CoolBroStory 7
Satan.
ilovesuju 10
Didn't they hear how he talks in the interview?
CoolBroStory 7
Why are you asking me o.o?
Harpy20 24
19-living up to that name I see...
CoolBroStory 7
Si.
HahaHokayThen 10
You should come in one day speaking in a demonic voice & wear red eye contacts & act as if everything's normal just to see their reaction.
ImaginaryFoe 1
In an interview, it could've been mistaken for nervousness. Also, my first thought wasn't satan; it was Benecio DelToro.
thepatty8474 10
Awesome freaking boss..
harrystylesfan69 5
You think a boss who makes fun of an employer is awesome...?
eriksen 16
59- she was being sarcastic...
simonsaysYDI 8
59 - If my boss made fun of our employer, I'd think she was pretty awesome. Sadly she's a suck up. That's why she's the boss.
MrFuzzles 5
The power of Christ compels you!!
rosesofash860 8
To give me a raise!
KVKdragon 26
Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica Ergo, draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adjuramus te ... cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque æternæ perditionìs venenum propinare Ut Ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos ;)
MrFuzzles 5
Mind is blown.
teague95 16
That's smart. Think someone might be possessed, talk about them behind their back.
minisquid 9
"Imnotpossesedwhyareyoutalkingaboutme??" "Gah!!! Dave, get the crucifix! I'll hold it off!!"
Ajwc101 24
No offense, but your boss sounds like a jerk.
mykalt18 2
And that would be offensive to OP because?
vanessaizawesome 8
Op's boss is a jerk!!! I would confront him about it!
Ajwc101 24
9 - Because maybe he like his boss.
Ajwc101 24
Why do you guys keep thumbing me down? All I said was no offense, I didn't want to risk offending OP.
DomDomxoxo 16
Don't take it too seriously, everyone on here got thumbed down at some point. (:
vanessaizawesome 8
Dude!!! Ur tongue... IT'S BLUE!!!!
l23VIVE 17
29 hit the nail on the head, your tongue is blue so we bury you
vanessaizawesome 8
Oh wow
Ajwc101 24
Thanks 26
Ajwc101 24
33 - Never diss the blue.
vanessaizawesome 8
THE BLUE IS AWESOME!!!!
baddawg365 0
25- You keep getting thumbed down because the boss is obviously a jerk, would you care who talked bad about him if it was you?
simonsaysYDI 8
The boss is a jerk but no one says anything about the other coworker? C'mon... they're making a joke about someone, doesn't mean they're jerks. Enunciate your words OP! Do it!
aKaClickZ 4
Now is your opportunity to **** with them.
snakeassault 0
My mind accidently skipped "with". I was scared for a second.
simmer333 0
Yes.
perdix 31
Or you could be a Cosby kid.
bulldoghitman97 4
Tell him if that he doesn't cool it your going to cast a spell on him or kill him in his sleep. Problem solved. He'll either stop or fire you... either way you wont have to hear it anymore.
Allahu_Akbar 1
*You're
EG14_fml 8
*readin name* ...I dont think a brony would be possessed
ChannySai 7
Lmfao I think being a BRONY is a possession all on its own.
Truth_Nazi 0
And a good one at that...
Harpy20 24
Either that or your boss is an idiot OP. Take a trip to the "Bible Belt" in the US and say an eight-letter word. You'll see what I mean.
krae001 3
I live in the Bible Belt. As I said in my comment I don't thin demons. I think of the Holy Ghost. Then again it's really not hard to tell if someone's just slurring or actually speaking in tongues...