Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML
Today, the neighbors' kid got a new airhorn. FML
Today, I was teaching my two year-old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML
Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML
Today, my boyfriend trapped me in a corner of our apartment and kept making sounds that he knows cause me to become violently angry (I have misophonia). He wouldn't stop, even though I was practically begging him to, and now he's mad that I freaked out and broke his nose to get away from him. FML
Today, I asked my son to repeat something he had said. He got right up in my face and screamed that it was time I got a "fucking hearing aid." His siblings agreed with him. My husband agreed so much, he won’t even punish him for yelling and swearing, because, “Honestly, we all wanted to scream it.” FML
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
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Top comments
me234 7
That sucks his parents should have to pay to get your ears checked
viper64 10
Stupid kids...
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Comments (172)
viper64 10
Stupid kids...
Screwie 25
BEEEEP. ... Well yeah, that's not very nice, it happened to me once.
kevsnev 7
Haha if my parents found out I did something like that to my nanny or any guest I would get a beating.
asdaasdaasda 1
No wonder his parents got a nanny, probably fed up of the brat...
warpedblue2 0
I hate parents that hire nannies so they both can work. The kid becomes estranged and rebellious and a brat. Kids sometimes need more than a timeout.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Anyone else feel that this FML is oddly worded? It sounds a bit... weird...
PenguinSwag47 0
Where the **** did he get an air horn? Don't you think you should take that away if he's going to be in time out?
Gtroll 4
Should of punched him in the nuts.
asdaasdaasda 1
59- I had a nanny whilst both my parents worked and I am nothing like this child, so before you make such a sweeping generalisation do some research.
bioboy725 10
128, You only hear about the kids that turn out as horrid little brats.
Superspiderbat 23
This kid needs some asian parents to take care of him
starwind3438 9
I think it's safe to say he needs better parenting.
TheFuckerofShit 16
Well, man, I know good parents that have bad kids.
TheDrifter 24
No, you know good people who are failing as parents. It happens, some people just don't have it in them to train children.
Calyx_fml 22
Sometimes it actually is a bad kid that no amount of good parenting can tame. Kids are not blank slates. They have personalities, some of which are just assholes.
ebonyirony 29
The problem child
starwind3438 9
Think about it. Who would leave an air horn close enough for a kid to reach it?
chellyX92 8
91- well parents who don't really pay attention or don't think their children will take it.
me234 7
That sucks his parents should have to pay to get your ears checked
SmittyJA24 26
... and then some!! Can you say "sue the parents"?
zachherbert 10
Oooh I can! "Sue the parents!" Now, where's my cookie?
TheVelocirabbit 10
Sue the parents for what a little kid did? I say sue all the little kid's piggy bank money and bring in Ted the Bear as a witness!
xcarxcrashx 9
It's the American way!!!
Lindwurm_fml 0
What a poor country where one has to pay to get medical treatment. Well, the taxes are way better invested in military and war than health care and education, no?
cBlackout 13
84, ignorance at it's finest, no? We pay for our healthcare so we don't have to wait in line for it, and you of all people should know about heavy taxes.
yumyumpoptart 16
see if you lived in Canada, there wouldn't be a problem for paying to get OP's ear checked...
lokar_ogar 11
@148 no, it would just take half a year to reach the front of the line
Mauskau 36
****. Reminds me of when I was a kid, I was born half deaf so people would make loud sounds in my ear hoping I could hear it. I could, but it hurt. It'll wear off OP don't worry.
reallytho3 11
Kids are demons...
wallandpiece 16
OP should've drop-kicked the little bastard.
nanny1010 12
Am I only only one who first read this as "half dead"? LOL But I'm sorry you had to deal with those punks. Kids can be huge jerks.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
This is why I don't like children.
zuzupetalsYO 11
This is why I don't like most children's parents.
fenixtorador1 11
Thumbs down for your comment and your gay ass picture
cBlackout 13
I think 99 is mad.
WolfGirlRin 12
I think it's funny you said 'I don't like...' when your pic is of Fluttershy
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Don't judge Fluttershy, bitch.
ManInTheMachine 20
I would tell his parents what happened. Then they can deal with the little bugger as they please. ...or, you can 'donate' a couple of his toys to more deserving children, if you know what I mean >:) Otherwise, FYL for having to put up with the brat.
SkoomaKi 28
Donate? Burn, obliterate, annihilate, destroy, kill and sacrifice the toys, it would be so much more enjoyable >:) not to mention how fun it would be too.... I'm going to be a bad father...
onlychildFTW 34
This is one reason I'm not a big fan of kids. And everyone, OP doesn't deserve it. The kid was bad, he got a time out. It isn't OP's fault the kid is an little brat.
ILoveFluttershy 3
Little boogers...
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Off topic, but I love Fluttershy too :)
immaMonsta 8
That sucks OP. I'd tell his parents and hopefully they'll take his horn away from him. I just hope that doesn't cause any permanent damage for you.
rubbertoast 2
sue the kid for everything in his piggy bank!!!!!!
dubstep12 8
Haha. Yes!! :D
chellyX92 8
Three pennies and a half eaten lollipop, yup worth it.
BubbleGrunge 18
As a fellow Nanny, I feel your pain! Raising other peoples children is not easy! At least once a week I wish the child I watch was mine, because once swift spanking would do her wonders!
bobeattaco 5
Quit complaining go to college and look for a new job
ManInTheMachine 20
19-Has it ever occured to you that jobs aren't exactly one click away, y'know, with the economy and all? And how do you know she isn't in college? You don't. Who are you to talk, you're not even a senior in high school. So **** off, asshat.
Rowdey 10
19 - By your bio, name, and pic, I can see that you know what is best for that chick. Your months of schooling have taught you well. Everybody, everybody! Be quiet! Bobeattaco is going to enlighten us with his extensive knowledge of how to live your life. Please, go on, Bob.
sillystyle420 5
19 you spelled lemon wrong in your profile
PrincessesCrown 17
19: Im pretty sure that "lemon" in your profile is a pear. Just thought I'd point that out.
mikeymayhem_87 15
Ahhhh yes.... The wisdom of high schoolers. They know so much about how life goes on outside of school....
BubbleGrunge 18
Oh 19, how I wish, little boy, that you were mine for just ten minutes. We would see who would be "complaining" then. For the record, I am in school, and work part time as a nanny. Oh, and I have an educated back ground in early childhood education , therefore my complaining ass doesn't complain on pay days. To everyone else, high fives all around to you all! Smooches!!!!!