Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, I inadvertently gave passers by the middle finger as I tried to stop my glasses from sliding off my face. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML
Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
Today, I went to get a facial. I forgot my contact case so I put them into paper cup. My beautician thought it was leftover water from someone else, and threw my only pair of vision aid away. I scuttled home half blind. FML
Today, after buying a new pair of prescription glasses, I went to the beach. The ocean now has a new pair of glasses. FML
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Top comments
COOL__Coal 12
I hope you waved back otherwise that would be rude
Ceejay1 13
You kept looking
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Comments (94)
JohnnyBr4v0 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You deserve it, if everyone else who happen to pass by and saw him; you should be as fortunate to see miracle of self-happiness.
mykalt18 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
As proven by the current down-thumbing of your comment, you make no sense.
ilovesuju 10
I kept re-reading your comment but I can't understand dafuq your trying to say.
Insane_Tea 15
This is a complete guess but I believe he's talking about miracles and masturbation. Or he has no idea himself. Either way.. wtf?
ThisIsMyReign 4
Miracles and masturbation...how flabbergasting.
Qandol 26
Am i the only who didn't understand what he is saying in this comment or everyone else feels the same?
lovebeecharmer 6
Hey I found the homeless guy!! He's stupid lol
baddawg365 0
My brain just about imploded from reading that rubbish you call a comment. Please good Sir tell us what you meant.
randomkayx3 11
I think he means that OP is lucky to see the "amazing" sight of self pleasure.
HairyPunisher 27
It's a tragic shame when you have the opportunity to be the first comment and waste the "miracle" on a comment that not only makes you sound like a lunatic weirdo but also makes no sense.
SystemofaBlink41 27
84- lunatic's a bit too much, eh? I dunno maybe he was in a hurry to comment first and made no absolute ******* sense...
sonicgreg 12
How is babby formed?
russfml 31
Well at least you look good in your new glasses lol
vanessaizawesome 8
Yeah at least op knows that they look good in the glasses!!!!
fabulosogurlee 7
26-Yeah! I really like how you just restated exactly what was said before! I did not understand what was being said until you put it that way... Just in case you couldn't tell I am being sarcastic.
RobboXD 5
That's hot
ocean4venue 0
That's a hot way to live.
coolgrlyepp 3
Haha
downtime 13
...What's with the trend of people repeating comments that came before them all of a sudden...? Oh, I mean, does anyone else not understand comment #1?! At least they know they look good which is totally hot.
Finnick_fml 12
Well... Keep your eyes on the road next time :p
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Hey #4, I read your profile cuz in also a huge hunger games fan. I know that the K x P was for Katniss and Peeta and the A x F was for Anna and Finnick, but who does the " C x C " stand for? Just curious :)
tash4220 0
Cato and Clove, I presume.
Ceejay1 13
You kept looking
DomDomxoxo 16
Good point.
Goldenchest 14
1: Go home 2: Burn your glasses 3: Burn your eyeballs
Inheritance 10
Did you give him money? If you didn't you're a schmuck! Greedy bastards these days.
Branflakes78 13
61 stfu idiot. i bet you wouldn't give him money you are just comment hungry. and maybe OP doesn't have an high income
teague95 16
Did you offer him a hand?
Rowdey 10
Yes.
fabulosogurlee 7
Actually a mouth. ;))
aKaClickZ 4
Should go eat his face off.
ciumegu 6
Play along with him?? Hey he gets lonely too LOL
Ajwc101 24
At least you know he's friendly.
reallytho3 11
Personally that makes it worse...
reallytho3 11
Personally that makes it worse lol
Ajwc101 24
28 - I never said that was a good thing. Ha, ha.
COOL__Coal 12
I hope you waved back otherwise that would be rude