Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minutes to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML
Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML
Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML
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Top comments
BigBoyBounce 5
The only thing i could thonk of when i read this was Patrick Star.
saintsrocksocks 10
Lol AHHHH BUT CRAMP. -Patrick Star
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Comments (171)
lajaynay 15
That sucks op. did you yell at him for help and he just ignored you or did he just act like he didn't notice your distress? That would have been super ****** up.
reborne 9
5 minutes. **5 MINUTES** SERIOUSLY??? So you managed to stay afloat flapping around in the water for 5 minutes yet couldn't make it to the edge? oooookkkaaaayy............
Zomg_Okay 27
Maybe they were at the edge already but couldn't climb out because of the cramp. There could be any number of similar explanations for them managing to survive in the pool for five minutes despite the cramp.
The_Hunger_Games 4
You should sue him
GVirdi 11
I read your comment then your about me Looks like you're a stupid ****
Abbyybba 0
Now there's a way to look good for the girl he's trying to get with... Let the poor defenseless cramping person drown. He is a winner.
Mattsta123 5
We don't get in the water. Youre crazy if you expected him to get in
THE_A_TEEN 28
Either that was sarcasm or you're really a careless idiot.
akaulitz 3
if someone is struggling our job is to help them. We are lifeguards, we take steps to prevent people from ever needing our help. So getting someone out who's struggling probably prevents them drowning if we hadn't.
grands138 4
I see two problems with this story. 1) People unwilling to do the job their paid to do. 2) People unwilling to do something for themselves. You get a cramp while swimming, go to the side of the pool, work it out, and quit being a sissy about it.
Mitcha857 0
I agree. Seriously OP if you were in trouble and in danger of drowning for 5 minutes, you'd be at the bottom of the pool and not here posting this.
GVirdi 11
Either way it's the life guards job to help them. If OP is stupid then all the more reason
Mitcha857 0
87- darwinism at it's finest!
poopycat 5
Actually, if you get a cramp while swimming, you might not be able to move that part with a cramp and could drown
grands138 4
I was both a varsity swimmer and a lifeguard. Most cramps occur in the legs, and you can swim to the side of the pool with your arms. Secondly, a lifeguard's job is to maintain safety both inside and outside of the pool. Had the lifeguard jumped in to "save" OP from a cramp (a non-life threatening issue), he could've missed someone who was actually in distress. OP clearly had plenty of time to deal with the cramp.
McNerdyNerd 8
I'm so happy to see this! I was beginning to think everyone would just flop over and die if they had a cramp in a pool XD
georgia97 2
Although I agree with you, I see one problem in your comment, grammar.(: it's they're.
shmaxwell 7
*they're
twye 22
Why are there any YDI votes? I don't see how OP deserved it..
mikeofthunder 13
What does OP and YDI actually stand for?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Orangutan **** and Yearly ***** Income.
Bonzer 2
OP stands for Olive Pickles, YDI stands for York ***** Interface. You're welcome.
Dracoboxer357 36
39- Mike, OP is the Original Poster. YDI- You Deserve It. Or go with Optimal Penetration, Yearly ***** Implantation, or any of the other helpful suggestions also listed. Your choice. ;)
mccaincracker 6
It's clearly OPs fault for eating shortly beforehand and not waiting long enough like we've always been told!
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
OP still should've gotten help.
Kbearlove23 0
Could of got a lawsuit c:
Bonzer 2
*Could've
SadIife 6
Go complain, if he can't do his job, which INVOLVES SAVING LIVES, then he he shouldn't be a lifeguard period. He could of killed someone.
SadIife 6
Could have*
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Obviously he shouldn't be a life guard if he can't put saving someone over flirting with a girl.