Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML
Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML
Today, I picked up my online grocery order. The clerk asked about the party, because he assumed I was having one because of all the ice cream I'd ordered. I'm bulimic and everything was for me. FML
Today, I was at work at an ice cream shop when a hot guy came in and started chatting me up. I got him his ice cream and as I handed it to him, he mentioned that I was cute and walked away. Then I realised he hadn't paid for the ice cream, and I didn't even get a date out of it. FML
Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We somehow started talking about which of our relatives had died. Right when she was talking about how her grandfather had died, I started laughing. She had gotten ice cream all over her face. She broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, I was eating an ice cream on a sidewalk and some woman decided it was time to clip her toenails on her balcony above me. One of the nail shards fell onto my ice cream. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
Stop forcing your nuts on women and we won't have this problem, hm?
threeputtgreen 0
no means no
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Comments (375)
kiit_fml 0
If she said she wanted them, adding them for no extra charge wouldve been nice. No means no.
drummer_dude 0
Wow you fuckwad, hope you get fired for that.
zarc 0
Ok, being nice =/= being into you. Why the **** do some guys think if a woman is civil to them that means she's into them? If I smile it's because it's the polite thing to do, it does not mean I want to jump a guy's bone. Hell, half the time I want to get out of there ASAP. And know that it's not uncommon for women to be able to sense when a guy thinks that a smile is more than a smile; it's part of our Creep-Detector (TM). Now, you're a damn idiot for doing that. Peanuts are one of the most common allergies out there, and given you work in the food industry, you should KNOW that. You should also know better than giving a customer something they specifically said no to. No does not mean yes, nor does it mean they can't afford it. No means no. Is it really hard to understand the meaning of a two-letter word? And even if she wasn't allergic, some people don't like peanuts. If I had said I didn't want peanuts but gotten them anyway, I would have asked for my money back and requested to talk to the manager (because what if I had been allergic to them?). I do NOT like nuts in my ice cream, and find peanuts the most disgusting of "nuts." And to those saying the woman should have said she was allergic, it could be that her allergy is not triggered by traces of peanut, which would mean that as long as she didn't ingest any nuts she would have been fine. Or it could be the OP works in a place that claims that some of their ice cream is peanut-free. Most people with potentially deadly allergies are pretty good at knowing what they can or can't have. Unless some moron decides that the person saying no to something really means yes, and feeding them the very thing that could kill them.
moonlight_daze 8
Many many women are the EXACT same way.. In fact, there are prabobly more women like this than men.
lazytown 0
She said she didn't want them. I'm not even allergic but if I said no to that, and found peanuts, I'd be really pissed and make you do it over for free, lol.
embarrassedsis 0
she said she didnt want peanuts. did it occur to you it wasnt about the price? even if she wasnt allergic she just might not like peanuts. i dont. im also wondering how she didnt see the peanuts before she ate them tho...
kukopia 0
What a douche. A customer at an ice cream stand is NOT a client. A nice person is NOT 'into' some jerk spooning ice cream. IF she was even slightly into you, you ruined it by pushing peanuts to increase the price. You gave her 'free' peanuts, that you stole from the Co. No peanuts means... NO PEANUTS. No wonder you're so desperate to impress people. Impress her FAIL Impress me FAIL FML FAIL
_THE_MASTER_ 0
OP, YDI for a number of reasons. also SDI (SHE deserves it fpr being too much of a dumbass to not see goddamn peanuts on her ice cream. It's not as if they're ****** invisible. but back to you, OP. You're an idiot. Plain and simple. I hope you got fired for being that incredibly stupid. really, I do. Plus, I mean, Honestly. What were you gonna do? sweep her off her feet? "so, uh, That topping...Free of chartge." "Oh, Ok...Thank you." "Yeah, well, ya'know, .50 cents. I'm sure it'll come out of my tips, but, ah, I do what i can." "Oh, ok...thanks again." "So, uh, wanna come back to my house, see if i can make you a banana split?" "you have a house?" "well...It's more of a studio apartment. can't live la vida loca, givin away toppings to pretty ladies all the time." "well...maybe some other time." "yeah, come back anytime you want, and remember...the toppings are on me, always." really dude? Is that about the same as it went down in your head? Cause you're ****** ridiculous if it was even an iota better..
blastvortex 4
First off, she's a customer, not a client. Second, you're an idiot. Third, this is a YDI, not an FML. Lastly, don't expect me not to laugh when she sues your you and/or your employer's respective butts off. Either way, you'd best start looking for a new job since you probably won't be there for much longer.
kibbleznbitz0 0
instead of asking and then giving tjem to her anyway you ehoulda saisld "peanuts? on the house" or something cute like "wan peanuts? theyre free for you cause you seem like a sweet person" amd flash her a smile. then if she says no then she means no.
_THE_MASTER_ 0
now, see, because you clearly cannot type for shit, I'm going to go ahead and assume that you meant to say "flash her and smile." which would be totally innappropriate. might work, might get him fired. but since he is more than likely already fired, it's a much better story to tell than, 'today, I almost killed someone, because I'm stupid. FML'
mileycyruslvrrrr 0
no means yes. just kidding! anyone get that reference? well anyway, op, you are so ******* stupid. and really, if she wanted the peanuts she could have paid for them. or she would have said. damn i only brought $3. then you can give her the peanuts. but i don't know many people who like peanuts, let alone in their ice cream. that would be gross. next time try to find a date elsewhere, and don't force them to eat gross food. especially peanuts. many people are allergic to peanuts.