Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML
Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML
Today, I picked up my online grocery order. The clerk asked about the party, because he assumed I was having one because of all the ice cream I'd ordered. I'm bulimic and everything was for me. FML
Today, I was at work at an ice cream shop when a hot guy came in and started chatting me up. I got him his ice cream and as I handed it to him, he mentioned that I was cute and walked away. Then I realised he hadn't paid for the ice cream, and I didn't even get a date out of it. FML
Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We somehow started talking about which of our relatives had died. Right when she was talking about how her grandfather had died, I started laughing. She had gotten ice cream all over her face. She broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, I was eating an ice cream on a sidewalk and some woman decided it was time to clip her toenails on her balcony above me. One of the nail shards fell onto my ice cream. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
Stop forcing your nuts on women and we won't have this problem, hm?
threeputtgreen 0
no means no
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (375)
lrb081 0
how the **** did she not see the peanuts before eating?!?!
xxrejectedxx 0
well, at least you were trying to be nice though.
lrb081 0
to B00 - you are a ******* idiot for claiming it's attempted murder. if he had no idea prior that she was allergic, then it's not attempted murder.
robindavidhall 0
That was pretty moronic.
sawfanatic 0
Desperate. *yawn*
wildcherrybanana 2
what a way to get a date. loser.
driftwood 0
I just created an fmylife account to say that you, sir, are a complete moron.
jxmlt87 0
You totally deserved it.. who works at an ICE CREAM SHOP AND CALLS THEIR CUSTOMERS.... "clients" gimme a break
gigi2009 0
you IDIOT! i mean it's sweet and all, but next time offer the idea to her instead of just doing it!
Bullshet 0
First of all, being nice to someone doesn't mean you're into them. I ******* hate when I just try to be a polite and civil human being people think I'm flirting. Way to assume. Secondly, does "no" mean anything to you? (Although I wonder why she didn't say anything when she saw there were peanuts on her food.) So ydi