Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML
Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML
Today, I picked up my online grocery order. The clerk asked about the party, because he assumed I was having one because of all the ice cream I'd ordered. I'm bulimic and everything was for me. FML
Today, I was at work at an ice cream shop when a hot guy came in and started chatting me up. I got him his ice cream and as I handed it to him, he mentioned that I was cute and walked away. Then I realised he hadn't paid for the ice cream, and I didn't even get a date out of it. FML
Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We somehow started talking about which of our relatives had died. Right when she was talking about how her grandfather had died, I started laughing. She had gotten ice cream all over her face. She broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, I was eating an ice cream on a sidewalk and some woman decided it was time to clip her toenails on her balcony above me. One of the nail shards fell onto my ice cream. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
Stop forcing your nuts on women and we won't have this problem, hm?
threeputtgreen 0
no means no
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Comments (375)
liah_fml 0
no means no why dont you guys ever get that ??!?!?!
Xader 0
I dunno Liah... I'm pretty sure "no" means "do me harder!"
Captain_Jello 0
what a dumbass....
evelynne 0
wth?? did she not notice the peanuts there...
justanotheruser 0
You idiot. If she didn't want any then why did you put some on there? There's a reason why, der.
moleSG 6
It's possible for people not to like peanuts, you know. Even if she wasn't allergic, she probably would've still thought you an idiot for doing it. YDI for not respecting her wishes.
B00_fml 0
You are a ******* idiot. She could charge you with attempted murder for that.
shantoast 0
ydi. first off, peanuts are one of the most common allergies out there, so you shouldnt go adding them onto people's food anyway. but more importantly, the customer told you no. that means no. i hate nuts, and if you asked me if i wanted peanuts on my ice cream and i said no and you put them anyway, id be pissed. you just ruined my entire tasty treat by doing that.
doglover100 29
If OP was my server I would've thrown the ice cream at him and demanded a refund.
popemichael 9
YDI and assault charges against you.
aebleskiver 0
you're an idiot.
Lillith_fml 5
1. YDI for giving her peanuts even tho she said no. 2. YDI for working in catering business and not being aware of the most popular allergies people may have. 3. YDI for looking for girlfriend in this way.