Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I grabbed a box of my favorite granola bars, the only flavor the brand makes without nuts, which I'm severely allergic to. A visit to the ER after my throat closed up told me that I'd missed the notice on the shelf, warning that they're now making them with peanuts. FML
Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
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Top comments
Demetra_fml 0
Vanilla a la insect-that-can-survive-nuclear-war! Mmm.
awesome_o 0
there's the extra protein you would've missed by not having nuts.
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Comments (118)
SliceOfVanilla 0
Aw no, that really sucks :(
justmeagirl 0
lawsuit! ;)
TempestJones 0
I think I wouldve chosen the hospital visit over a cockroach... EWE!!! FYL
fashionandmusic 0
stupid cockaroaches!
colinni1998 0
OMG!!! LUCKY!!!
Demetra_fml 0
Vanilla a la insect-that-can-survive-nuclear-war! Mmm.
ilovechocochipz 0
haha can survive nuclear war but not some guys mouth... interesting bugs
Zoomer117 1
Nasty!!
kaileighbutt 0
ewwwwwwwww!
ladidaday 0
atleast he spit it out:P
spaghetti542 0
crunchy toppings ftw
starshine3987 0
If that's true report that place to the health inspector. However I have a hard time believing this one. Normally cockroaches hate the cold, which is why they live in the south and not the north. I see you're from Florida so at least you have them where you live so that part is believable. But a cockroach climbing into some ice cream? Or even being in a cold environment where ice cream is stored and falling into it? Not so much. I call a fake.
Dieromantic85 0
Better get your facts straight. Places like DQ or 31 flavours can attract all sorts of bugs...especially ROACHES. I live in the midwest. I've even seen roaches in Wisconsin. SO don't assume they do not exist in the north bitch. If this is true...get yourself a good lawyer.
starshine3987 0
Yes, places with cold food can attract bugs but they are usually attracted to the sweet toppings that go with the ice cream or the other food that is there. Dairy queen doesn't just sell ice cream. I worked at Chick-fil-a when I was younger and we had to deal with keeping bugs out of the kitchen and the area we kept ice cream toppings but we never had to worry about them trying to get into the cold ice cream machine and definitely not in the freezer.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Guys, the bugs are NOT trying to get into the ice-cream or the freezer. But all ice-cream starts as sweet gooey thing before it's actually churned and get cold etc. The roach probably fell in the mixture at that stage (when it was sweet, soft and gooey, and far from the freezer still), died and froze in the yogurt afterwards. It's simple!!
thatsoundsnice 0
What ... the hell! Roaches don't live in the North? Have you ever even heard of New York?!
slyace 9
Crunchy and filled with protein. I think Baskin Robins just found a new flavor.
starshine3987 0
And I have two words for you: artificial environment. Clearly you haven't read any of my other posts, but I'll spell it out to you again nonetheless. New York is a forest of heated buildings (i.e. environments that don't get cold during the winter) filled with people who have tons of food and create tons of trash. New York is an exception to the rest of the region in terms of what species of animals flourish there. Go be uninformed about biology and the environmental effects of large cities somewhere else.
null_fml 11
I'm inclined to agree with starshine here since she's actually using... oh, what's the word... logic.
andydawg8891 0
Actually it was probably an American Wood Roach. Cockroach is used to liberally.
starshine3987 0
(reply to #54) No, since New York is a city with a lot of trade from other regions roaches were probably brought there on freight from other areas. Kind of like how in the middle ages rats were brought to Europe from Asia on trade ships which then caused the bubonic plague. Anytime a place has a large population it's going to take in a lot of trade with other areas and when that happens species of insects from those areas are just one of many things that will be unintentionally going to be brought there.
starshine3987 0
Btw thanks salisbury. I'm glad someone on here appreciates using common sense haha. :)
null_fml 11
Dudes... you're totally focusing on the wrong part of her post, there. The living in the north or south part was just an example; the main point was that they don't like the cold. Which they don't. It's just a matter of fact. She didn't even say how far north or south. There sure as hell aren't any at the North Pole. So you're debating a relative term as though it were absolute? Doesn't work. Cockroaches can live indoors pretty much anywhere, but that's an artificial environment. In a cold enough climate, they will not survive outdoors. They are not native to the northern U.S. or Canada, end of story.
starshine3987 0
Thanks. I'm glad someone got the point, and can explain it better than I did! Haha. :)
Sniper3000 0
#9 ur dumb... there are roaches in the north like new york. i happen to live here in new york with roaches in my apt. OP sorry for u....
amrik 11
im from Canada. is that why there are no cockroaches here?
amrik 11
actually I've never seen one
senseisuncommon 7
completly agree with sunshine, no one could explain better then you on this :D.
NeGMaFiA 0
Who cares really...-___-
andyyroxx 20
#110- I live in Canada too, (high five!) and have only ever seen like three in my life. One was buried deep in a sand pit at a park, the other two were in my friend's basement.
awesome_o 0
there's the extra protein you would've missed by not having nuts.
Penetration 0
^ Epic win.
RaeBabe03 0
Ugh, That would be disgusting! Gag me! Blah I feel bad for you! FYL
starshine3987 0
Ummm no they're not. Look it up. I used to live in Mississippi where it's hot as hell and they were everywhere. Now I live in the mountains in western NC where it's cold and we rarely have them if ever. I might have seen two or three in the ten years I've lived here. Btw #9 super classy of you to call someone you don't know a bitch because you think they are mistaken.
starshine3987 0
Because restaurants and office buildings are large non-natural environments where there is lots of warmth even during the winter. Plus big cities have lots of trash so that's a lot of stuff for them to feed off of. Cities and any civilization in general create environments that otherwise wouldn't exist and then draw in animals that can survive there that otherwise wouldn't.
rocketeer_97 1
bitch ....
cooperisacat 0
So, you live in America...so sue! This is your lottery ticket.
Weil 0
You deserve it for living in Florida. Florida is the equivalent of Hell.