Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML
Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML
Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML
Today, I grabbed a box of my favorite granola bars, the only flavor the brand makes without nuts, which I'm severely allergic to. A visit to the ER after my throat closed up told me that I'd missed the notice on the shelf, warning that they're now making them with peanuts. FML
Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, one of the kids I was babysitting had a severe peanut allergy, and he looked me dead in the eye as he ate a peanut bar before I could stop him. His sister swore up and down that I made him eat it. Guess who the parents believed, even after I rushed him to the hospital. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
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Top comments
AmbrosiaFan 19
Your "friend" better be paying for that hospital bill. Then put her in the hospital.
EmDizzle2007 28
that's attempted murder.
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Comments (19)
AmbrosiaFan 19
Your "friend" better be paying for that hospital bill. Then put her in the hospital.
Cody Engelke 18
Wow. And I thought my friend wasn't the nicest guy around.
doomsdayaddams 6
Your friend is a dangerous sociopath. Run. Seriously.
EmDizzle2007 28
that's attempted murder.
blondie45 21
My thoughts precisely!
Jason Jennings 3
Then I must say your friend is an asshole. Sorry for your issues, sympathetic not apologetic.
Susan Yee 9
Sue!
PlagueofFiction 20
If you have any written proof that she did it to see if you were allergic or not, you can sue her, and even take this to the police as it's attempted murder.
core01 30
Riiiight. The friend wrote her diabolical plan down and then handed it to her.
PlagueofFiction 20
If you use your brain, you'll see that there are many possible outcomes as to how she found out. She may have learned via a text or message of some kind that she put the nuts in to test her allergies. Not everyone gets together in person to plot out someone else's death.
thisisbutaname 38
Maybe she texted her the truth, eventually
Ksweety_fml 27
I don't think you should continue to be her friend...
RichardPencil 32
Your "friend" is a pretty good "scientist." How can you prove a nut allergy is real without empirical proof?
stickyface 17
Jail time for your "friend." Not kidding. What she did was a crime.