Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, a woman accused my husband of being a pedophile because he was at the playground with our daughter alone. To make matters worse, our daughter punched the woman in the face, so now she's pressing charges. FML
Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago, my four year-old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
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Top comments
fleamo_fml 0
And you're POSITIVE she meant 'puter?
aerials_fml 0
Ah, that's pretty funny. Pretty awkward too. FYL.
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Comments (149)
clouds9 0
#48 Wow. That sucks so bad... sounds like your school was full of asshole administrators. Not even an apology after all that? Shitastic. First of all, the word 'computer" is a difficult word for small children to pronounce correctly, no matter how well they imitate. My whole family speaks proper Cantonese and English to my niece (no "does you nee' to go pee-pee widdle baby?" crap), but she doesn't copy everything to the tee. Children learn just as much through observation and listening, and not solely from direct interaction. When we're not speaking to her, our words are faster and they get mixed up - thus resulting in her jumbled up words and pronunciations. So #52 - if you want your kid to be able to enunciate like an adult by the time she's 4, you best talk to EVERYBODY all slow and clear whenever your kid is in the area, and make sure everyone else does the same. Before that happens, you should take your comment back and tone it down a little first. To the OP - Bummer that your daughter's school jumped to conclusions like that... but at least you know they're paying attention. You'd think a bunch of adults who run a kindergarten would know that kids say the darnest things sometimes, and not everything should be taken seriously = Sucky situation, really.
madame_malfoy 4
Ditto with #29
mary_jane22 0
thats hilar
idontgiveone 0
#3 LOL
Tickle_Me_Kiki 0
Something similar to that happened to me as a kid, my preschool called protective child services my dad never really touched me and i knew that but i had supressed memories of it and while i was growing up i was afraid of my dad raping me until my mom told me about the incident it all made sense after that. I was brainwashed by child services. Me and my dad are best friends now.
AkeemKN 1
LOL
Perfection_7 0
Hey # 11, before you critize someone's stupidity, make sure yours mistake isn't 10 times worse... If you knew how to count you would have realized you were talking about # 9.... How hard is it really, the freaken number is on the comment... YDI for that one.
alexthebrit 0
totally agree with #52.....when i was little, my parents spoke to me like a real person (what a concept) and i grew up speaking clearly and with good pronunciation. people who speak in baby talk to their children should be shot.
InspiredByGaGa 8
#52 should be president.
InspiredByGaGa 8
#101 should be vice president