Today, I decided to finally try out the veggie slicer I bought a few months ago to make healthy homemade potato chips. Along with the sliced potatoes, I am now missing about a quarter inch chunk of skin from the side of my hand and quite a bit of blood. At least the chips were good. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making sweet potato chips using my new slicer. I didn't mean to make a pinky finger chip as well. FML
Today, I was cutting potatoes. I was cutting them slowly, being careful, but my mom told me to cut faster, that I wouldn't cut myself. I cut myself. FML
Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML
Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML
Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML
Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML
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Top comments
mnblkjpoi 0
Well at least you got some chips
DocBastard 40
I understand you're trying to lose weight, but lopping off a bit of your hand is NOT part of the DocBastard Healthy Weight Loss Plan.
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Comments (132)
mnblkjpoi 0
Well at least you got some chips
leprechaun23 15
Did the blood add to the flavor?
noshatsherlockk 15
"Do these chips taste like iron to you?"
MrHomerSimpson 11
Mmmmm... chips.
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
Finger foooood :p
gojira666 7
This takes potato skins to the next level
ComTlancy 12
Well OP is a chip off the old block
boydeee01 7
6- "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" Best pick-up line ever.
RadikulRam 16
Ohh the Texan priorities, "ARGGHHHH MY HAND MY HAND MY FINGERS, oooo chips!!" Anyways as the British say OP, I hope you enjoyed the bloody chips! Haha chip(cheap) puns ftw.
noshatsherlockk 15
74- hahah. I always use the "Something's wrong with my ******, it tastes like skittles" line on my boyfriend. Takes the "I've got candy in my van" line to the next level.
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
Were they finger-licking good?
mockingjaygirl16 8
ouch! yikes!
midnightxloner 1
Well at least you know you can make good potato chips
thiscrazything 1
Bloody good chips, ay?
GothicAngel17 24
Well, that was silly!!
youjustmademelol 4
One day your kids will say " wow mommy how did you get that scar, did a shark bit you." and you must answer " nah I was making some chips when I thought my finger was potato..." and I wish you good luck
glutgyoogle 6
A QUARTER INCH IS SOME THICK POTATO CHIPS.
Krajjan 9
Speaking as a medic, that's going to take some serious painful time for tissue regrowth. Speaking as a human, owowowholyshitow.
NeverDont 13
Bloody good chips? That's clever! Get it? 'Cause her finger was bleeding? Not funny? Just me? Okay.
bitchpleasemike 7
finger chips
gurly98 13
Really
PussyPredator 6
You mean finger food...
kitkatknicknack 12
I think the guy meant "chips seasoned with finger chunks"
whennotlooking 0
Kind of uncalled for there
Fenthik 4
Sounds like a dicy situation.
False_Stupidity 42
Doesn't matter, had chips...
kamikrazy 6
Dicy situation? Wut
XtraEzeee 8
I think it's time for you to peel out.
cheaptrix 6
Finger licking good
steff900 6
alternative for ketchup?
j_cat187 20
I sick of silting my wrist whenever I want corn chip dip. The accompanying nausea prevents me from enjoying my food.
zachlibby 4
You gotta give me some if those chips!
KiddNYC1O 22
Let's get some if dose!
sloth115 18
damn zombies
Spazz420 7
Mommy...... That wasn't ketchup!!
Meme1988 18
Well, you could read the instructions first then try it, especially if there are knifvies involved or elictrisity ..
False_Stupidity 42
Gosh, where to start here.. I believe you meant 'knives' and 'electricity'
Meme1988 18
So... She should not read the instructions because i made some spelling mistakes?!
syraxthered 5
My thought exactly, even more so when it is the first time they used the product
DocBastard 40
Meme, you can play this one of three ways: 1) Defend your mistakes 2) Explain that English is your third language and wait for people to jump down the Grammar Nazi's throat for being an insensitive ass 3) Learn from your mistake so you don't make it in the future You can also choose options 2 and 3 together. I do this because I care.
Meme1988 18
Thanks ;) I'll try next time
PussyPredator 6
They're using a veggie slicer. I don't think you need to use knives..
ladyLALAA 29
I was going to day she's from Israel you jerk, but the doc comes outta nowhere! And as for the knives bit, there ARE blades on them so I get where she's coming from!
michabailey 8
Being from Israel is not a reason to assume that someone doesn't speak English. ??? ?? ??????, ??????? ??? ????? ??? ??? ???. I was born here, and English is not only my native language, I speak English a little bit better than Hebrew.
Meme1988 18
Thanks guys for the understanding part, but im not bad at english, im just bad at spelling. @micha, i studied at the Technion (who doesnt knows what is it-google it), i know english so well as it is my first language.. As for spelling- thats my "problem"
False_Stupidity 42
Your a real chip off the old block.
ComTlancy 12
What's with the chip on your shoulder?
DCFan 9
These jokes are too easy.. Chip shots, if you will.
akallaan 7
You sir fail at being a grammar Nazi. You troll someone else's post for incorrect spelling and you misspelled "you're."
Havin 19
I love how you guys start with 'you sir' & for some reason I always imagine it with a British accent.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Maybe you've found a new way to remove zits. .....That is ******* disgusting I can't believe I'm even posting this.