Today, a woman accused my husband of being a pedophile because he was at the playground with our daughter alone. To make matters worse, our daughter punched the woman in the face, so now she's pressing charges. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, my son-in-law slapped my daughter, so I put him in an armhold and threw him outside. My daughter refused to press charges so he got away, but then he pressed charges against me for hitting his head against the wall when I threw him, so I got arrested instead. Justice is a shitting joke. FML
Today, I was out of town but saw the Ring camera footage of a woman dragging my wife out of our house by her hair and beat the brakes off her on the front lawn. The woman was the mother of the girl our daughter had been bullying. When confronted, our daughter laughed and said, "Oh well." FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I found out that the woman who I punched in the face after I caught her on my porch snooping through my mail is pressing charges. FML
Today, I convinced my daughter to tell my wife that the coworker she’s been getting a bit too close to lately touched her inappropriately so she’d stop interacting with him. After arguing and confrontation between the four of us, my daughter threw me under the bus and told them the truth. Now they’re all mad at me. FML
Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML
Today, both of my daughters were having an argument because my youngest has decided that she doesn't want kids. I defended her decision and my oldest daughter told me to STFU and called me a hypocrite. I slapped her across the face for her disrespect and now she's threatening to press charges. FML
Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML
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Top comments
tiptoppc 21
Calling a random person a pedo in public is both inflammatory and dangerous, for reasons many have found before. Good for your daughter, and I suggest your husband sue the woman for defamation and (maybe a lawyer could prove based on prior public reaction) inciting terroristic acts. I’m surprised your husband kept his cool. I’m not sure I could, knowing how dangerous saying that about a random person in public, especially a place like that is, could be within earshot of others, without any proof or emergent behavior being exhibited by him.
Yudith 28
Your husband can tell the judge that your daughter was acting in self-defense, as it looks like that woman was trying to kidnap her.
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Comments (5)
tiptoppc 21
Calling a random person a pedo in public is both inflammatory and dangerous, for reasons many have found before. Good for your daughter, and I suggest your husband sue the woman for defamation and (maybe a lawyer could prove based on prior public reaction) inciting terroristic acts. I’m surprised your husband kept his cool. I’m not sure I could, knowing how dangerous saying that about a random person in public, especially a place like that is, could be within earshot of others, without any proof or emergent behavior being exhibited by him.
Yudith 28
Your husband can tell the judge that your daughter was acting in self-defense, as it looks like that woman was trying to kidnap her.
GoogieWithers 25
Your daughter was protecting herself against someone that was obviously unhinged.
DLBL 23
The woman is suing a child? I'd like to see this case on TV.
sirrubberduckie 37
She's pressing charges against a little girl who was on a playground? That should be interesting.