Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
Fight Club
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML
Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML
Looksmaxxing
Today, I accidentally gave myself a black eye. I would laugh about it if my friends didn't start suspecting that my husband is abusing me, and won't listen when I try to explain what really happened. FML
Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML
Demon drink
Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting two holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house to give him some moral support as he came out of the closet to his family. I left with a black eye. FML
Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Top comments
omgbrainZ_fml 24
Should of told him " that'll be you in the coffin if you don't shut up"
lemontreee 11
That's cold.
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Comments (131)
Madridsta1999 7
thatnucca 36
Sorry OP... And may her soul rest in peace....
tomwantssnow 14
I hope that guy came out of it worse than you did, but, regardless, you didn't deserve that.
nikkidii 14
You did the right thing, OP!
Madridsta1999 7
You should have told your best friend "hold on man, I'll take of this." And then knock that bastard the **** out.
gsevison 6
Hey well at least you were doing what a true best friend would do. And as for that dick, f*** him!
dachayke 16
I don't see the point in censoring your own comments. Either say the word or don't.
junkman6 22
#17 a true best friend would be sitting next to him in the holding cell after sending that other bastard to the hospital.
nightowl713 25
@68- yes, because while dealing with the death of his mother, he should also deal with the stress of being in jail. OP definitely did the right thing in breaking up the fight. No reason to add to an already horrendous day.
meggieeeee92 27
I hope the other guy ended up worse than you! That guy pulled such a low blow.
nchic01 17
jerk
PatandIsabella 4
Yo mama so dead she can't even give you steak for yo eye . Sorry your friends mommy died ... Throw some meat on your eye or go ahead and suck up the attention - chicks love a bad boy =•)
heliophobia 13
OP, you were doing the right thing trying to break up that fight, but in this instance, that guy should've gotten his ass beat. Comments like that are beyond disrespectful.