Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML
Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML
Today, I accidentally gave myself a black eye. I would laugh about it if my friends didn't start suspecting that my husband is abusing me, and won't listen when I try to explain what really happened. FML
Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML
Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting two holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house to give him some moral support as he came out of the closet to his family. I left with a black eye. FML
Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
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Top comments
omgbrainZ_fml 24
Should of told him " that'll be you in the coffin if you don't shut up"
lemontreee 11
That's cold.
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Comments (131)
tompou6 19
Give that bastard a kidney shot
thelittlemissy 29
At least you can wear your black eye with pride.
NodakN8V 25
I hope to god the other guy looks worse....
thatonewierdguy 5
What an asshole!
aforbiddendance 23
That's just disrespectful.
Xotoolyxo 16
You're a good friend for helping out
randymontegut 5
This is one of those FMLs you truly can't deserve.
fader48080 10
You should have helped. I deal with stress using humor and believe me when I tell you the humor gets less socially acceptable as I get more stresses. but that is way over the line.
chelene 10
you sound like a great friend
mustang19898 16
That's just wrong