Today, I was conducting a meeting via Zoom when I saw one of my subordinates drinking from a brightly colored can that looked like beer. I loudly called him out, interrupting one of my colleagues. He held it up and clearly visible was "SELTZER" on the can. Not even hard seltzer, just regular. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw one of my employees sipping from a beer bottle at work. I marched to his desk, snatched the bottle, and said, "Drinking on the job? You're fired. Get out." I then looked at the bottle. It was kombucha. FML
Today, I had a Zoom meeting. I tried being professional by setting a virtual office background, but during the meeting my computer glitched and revealed my real background: a pile of dirty laundry and a jug of Arizona Tea. My boss couldn’t stop laughing because he thought the jug was a jug of piss. FML
Today, I was at a work lunch, and the waiter brought me a soda I hadn’t ordered. I thought it was a free mistake, so I took a sip. It was actually my boss’s drink. As soon as I noticed, I tried to give it back, but he just stared at me and said, "It’s fine. I’ve already seen you drink it now." FML
Today, my boss wrote me up for drinking Kombucha at work, swearing it was "fancy Asian beer." I went to HR with the bottle and they dismissed the write up, since they saw sense and realized. FML
Today, I joined a Zoom call thinking it was a casual check-in. I was wearing a hoodie, sat cross-legged on my bed, and was sipping wine. I realised as it began that it was a formal client presentation with the CEO present. No one said anything… until after. FML
Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
Today, I farted during a Zoom call in front of our client. I thought mic was muted. My Team Lead had lot of things to say to me. FML
Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML
Today, I joined what I thought was my weekly team meeting on Zoom. I launched into a rant about our broken coffee machine, which I've been asking for weeks for it to be fixed, before someone interrupted with, “Erm, this is a parent-teacher conference.” I don’t even have kids. FML
Today, I attended my first Zoom meeting as a junior manager. Our CEO said she was feeling dizzy, and if anyone saw her passed out later they should get her some chocolate. Thinking she was joking, I burst out laughing. My boss quickly muted us, and told me that the CEO actually has diabetes. Nobody told me that. FML
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Top comments
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Bet you’re loads of fun to work with.
BurnInDemonFire 39
No doubt you think Liquid Death is booze too. Maybe next time call someone out when the evidence is solid.
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Comments (2)
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Bet you’re loads of fun to work with.
BurnInDemonFire 39
No doubt you think Liquid Death is booze too. Maybe next time call someone out when the evidence is solid.
tiptoppc 21
I got that from a police officer who asked me while i opened it (outside a gas station) if i planned to drink that while i drove, said “sure do!” And he arrested me. Took 3 other cops and gas station attendee to tell him he was an idiot. He wouldn’t even look at the can until a more experienced cop read him the contents aloud. He got fired as he had a habit of crap like this. He was also newer (6 months on job and on probation already) as a rookie. God, I hated Omaha…