Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I jokingly told my mom that I was having sex with my Professor. Her response was, "As long as you're getting A's, honey!" FML
Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I'm the best lay of his life. I really wish I could say the same about him. FML
Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I decided to give my virginity to my boyfriend of four months, because I told him I loved him. Two minutes after he'd pulled out, he grabs his cell and mass texts "I FINALLY GOT LAID!". FML
Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, my boyfriend has been grumpy for days, because his essay on society's fixation with performance, winning awards and getting good grades got a somewhat disappointing grade. FML
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Top comments
candy1 0
hahaha your boyfriend is awesome
Cokencsi 0
I would get straight a's if that was my reward.
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Comments (229)
pfunk129 1
I'd look into extra credit
bidoof_fml 0
If that's what it takes to get your ass in gear, then good for him.
megamouth2 1
Well... it's incentive, isn't it?
meliebel 2
Lol- That's awesome!
hansbans11 0
stop ur whining u know u like it.
madskillz3088 0
haha!! he's trollin' !!!!
brianjman14 23
lmao that made me laugh
brianjman14 23
Is this FML dead?
adamsk1 0
wow!! what a douche!! and I'm guessing you're and idiot cuz you just complained about getting laid for only good grades. maybe you should tell him to spank you for all the bad grades. ;) good for him for trying to motivate you. you're an idiot for not making good grades more often
PsychoMerk 0
well, at least hecares :) what happens when you get your degree, hmmmmm? ;)
furburger 0
Does this work on a sliding scale? 70s - He gets a handy 80s - He gets a hummer 90s - He gets laid 100 - You get bumfucked Of course, an exception would be made if you got a 69.
ballistic 2
like the grading scale
kaffeboy 0
grading scale! this should be enforced in the US. we wouldn't be the worst performing country in terms of developed nations education system!
QueenOfStars 0
wow