Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I jokingly told my mom that I was having sex with my Professor. Her response was, "As long as you're getting A's, honey!" FML
Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I'm the best lay of his life. I really wish I could say the same about him. FML
Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I decided to give my virginity to my boyfriend of four months, because I told him I loved him. Two minutes after he'd pulled out, he grabs his cell and mass texts "I FINALLY GOT LAID!". FML
Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, my boyfriend has been grumpy for days, because his essay on society's fixation with performance, winning awards and getting good grades got a somewhat disappointing grade. FML
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Top comments
candy1 0
hahaha your boyfriend is awesome
Cokencsi 0
I would get straight a's if that was my reward.
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Comments (229)
hayyan 0
don't you have pop quizes?
seeimdee 0
I think that's a acceptable deal. Kind of like role playing... I don't know how though. lol.
PentiumBawls8 0
by reading this, this sounds like she is having an affair with the teacher.
KurouTenshi 0
I get sex whenever I want it for absolutely no reason. maybe that's why I'm a lazy, unnaccomplished bastard...
dreamnitedarling 9
this is easy, he really doesn't care about you, dump his ass and find someone who cares about you and LIKES sex. this isn't even about motivation, and what right does he have to TELL you to have sex with him? Isn't it a choice?
adamsk1 0
obviously she wants it though so is he now telling her to have sex with him if she already wants it? cone on now! you didn't get good grades either did you?
xamcavip 0
so now u kno what u have to do
sorcerersinger 0
keep him! he cares about your future!
picturescrazy 24
He really cares about you. Kinda sucky situation, but it's all with good intentions :]
Bizzatch 0
I think I just fell in love with 43
bakedphtgrphr 0
lol he's trying to spur on the development of your brain! ha or you just suck at screwing.