Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Backhanded
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Chubby Love, by Bon Iver
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Multitasking
Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML
Humblebrag
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML
Let down
Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Top comments
Alliria 3
Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?
bgo7 0
if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha
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Comments (572)
CrazyManNo9 29
I love the quote, "It's not hitting the bottom; It's pounding the hell out of the walls!" Of course, I am 8.5" so what do I know; I just do both....
gkings18 1
by you saying that, everyone now knows you're small
SnowedInWI 0
if you can't accept him for that and find ways to make it work for you than you're too shallow to deserve him.
G6chick 0
shoulda checked
PhilMcHawk 7
OP you are a real bitch and should be ashamed. "the love of your life" my ass, you wouldn't post shit at his ******* expense. that being said, op's boyfriend thought he had three pubic hairs... until he pissed outta one. lol
xrainbowshadowx 17
Exactly!
timetogrowup 0
At least it won't trigger your gag reflex, right? It makes your life easier, besides, there are toys for you and you can use them together. Using the toys together really turned on my ex.
Carriah420 9
At least he'll be easy to deep-throat(x
lmaoatall 6
ooh ooh aw aw iPhone iPhone aaaww yes iPhone imoan imoan ring bitch ring
heyimjennyFML 5
good things come in small packages? :)
burninfate 0
yeah she is a shallow *****, and yes she is. get over it.. its a penis you are only three inches anyways which means he is still .5 too big for you, dumb hooker
Leggooo 0
hahahaha!